Articles

Helping Difficult People Professional Masochism? © Martyn Carruthers Many difficult people are immature – stuck in childish emotions. To help them professionally, first learn how to solve their difficult behaviors. Here are some tips and pointers for working with difficult people. Super-Vision for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists Points worth remembering: Your communication skills can help or hurt people Your clients pay you to meet them in their own reality You are, or should be, able Read more…

Lucid Dreamwork & Dreaming Together Are you the Dreamer or the Dreamed? © Martyn Carruthers We offer dream coaching, Dreamwork, lucid dreaming and teach people to use these skills in counseling and therapy. Dreaming Together is an integral part of our systemic psychology. In Your Dreams We help people understand and change themselves, their emotions, their relationships and their lives! One way that we coach people is in their dreams – our Dreamwork extends our Read more…

Psychosomatic Solutions © Martyn Carruthers Psychosomatic symptoms appear to originate in, or are worsened by, limiting beliefs, negative emotions and relationship problems. Many somatic diseases appear to have psychosomatic components. What are Psychosomatic Symptoms? Please consult a physician about medical symptoms or medical conditions. If you visit a physician, you may be told it’s all in your head. Some body (somatic) symptoms have no known physiological basis. Some symptoms seem more related to relationships and Read more…

Loneliness & Friendship Problems Quality friends are rare and special © Martyn Carruthers We can help you manage your emotions and solve relationship problems. How many people are truly your friends? How many are just casual acquaintances? How many don’t know your name? Your Relationship with Yourself Are you Lonely? Most people experience loneliness sometimes … and some people prefer solitude. While some people are better trained at making and keeping friends, others want to Read more…

When Children Reject Parents Rejection, Betrayal & Abandonment © Martyn Carruthers Were you abandoned, betrayed or rejected by someone you loved? Have you deserted, neglected or pushed away someone who loved you? These behaviors often create unpleasant bonds. Many people have told us that they are unhappy because their parents didn’t love them. They told us why they distanced themselves from their parents emotionally and geographically. Parents have told us about feeling abandoned or rejected Read more…

Ending Relationships: Why Partners Separate Counseling for Marriages © Martyn Carruthers 2008 For every successful love experience, there may be ten destructive experiences that result in a cynicism that makes it difficult to love again. From: “The Dialectic of Sex” by Shulamith Firestone Were you trained to be a partner? Or did you learn how to express love by watching your parents, television and movies, or from the lyrics of love music? After a honeymoon, Read more…

Dangers of Positive Thinking © Martyn & Kosjenka From Idealism to Success – Have you suffered enough? Do you frequently say things like “It will turn out for the best“, or “If it’s meant to be it will happen“? Do you believe that if you act friendly toward the world – then unpleasant things cannot happen to you? Do you risk everything by taking unrealistic steps to fulfill unrealistic goals? Do you try to add Read more…

Gay / Lesbian / Bisexual Relationship Coaching Solutions for Emotional & Relationship Problems We help gay people manage their negative emotions, heal their relationships and change their limiting beliefs. In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from its list of mental disorders. The APA stated: “Human beings cannot choose to be either gay or straight … sexual orientation is not a conscious choice that can be voluntarily changed.” You are under attack! Are you Read more…

Solutions for Control Issues End Relationship Destruction © Martyn Carruthers Many health professionals and patients use drugs as a substitute for change. Self-medication with alcohol, nicotine or anti-depressants, are easier than applying intelligence and focus to your relationships. Control issues are characterized by needs to dominate, micromanage or orchestrate other people’s behavior. Such an urge to control is often a reaction to fear – and if the underlying fear is transformed – the need to Read more…

Negotiate with your Inner Terrorist © Martyn Carruthers Can you stop Criticizing Yourself? If you often criticize and blame yourself, you may not notice how much you criticize and blame other people, nor want to change. People who are often angry or critical may avoid asking for help, and when they do, helping professionals may avoid assisting them. Few professionals tolerate their passive aggressive hostility (resistance) which so often emerges. Some of these people may Read more…