Table of Contents
Pulling Yourself Together © Martyn Carruthers
Do alcohol, nicotine, anti-depressants and stimulants seem easier than changing relationships? Many people try to use drugs to solve relationship problems.
Drugs are much more profitable for health professionals.
What could you accomplish if you solved your
emotional and relationship issues?
Crisis, Abuse & Trauma Release
Have you experienced or witnessed events that involved injury, abuse or loss? Did you suffer a serious accident or a life-threatening disease? Have you since experienced moments of anxiety, helplessness or even horror? Do you feel disturbed when something reminds you of those events, and avoid whatever reminds you of them?
Your emotions influence your thoughts, beliefs and behavior. Although some emotions seem negative, we find that all emotions, even unpleasant or irrational emotions, have purpose. Your anger, compassion, fear, courage, sadness and joy can not only provide you with inner guidance – you can transform them into qualities such as joy.
Sigmund Freud suggested that your childhood and parenting provided a structure for your beliefs – and affect your personality, success, happiness and maturity. If your beliefs do not support your goals, we can help you change them.
Many people survive trauma and abuse by splitting off or hiding parts of themselves. Have you split-off some of your emotions? Do you sometimes feel detached, fragmented or dissociated? Do you suffer panic or anxiety attacks at odd moments? Can you focus and concentrate – or does your attention seem to wander?
Do you feel tired, yet you cannot sleep? Does your life feel meaningless? Unresolved abuse, trauma and stress can cause flashbacks and nightmares. Post-traumatic stress (PTSD) or depression may have been caused by events that happened many years ago but those terrible emotions may be triggered by tiny stimuli at any time.
Solutions for Trauma, Abuse & Identity Loss
War, terrorism, prison, rape, military service, domestic violence, childhood disappointments or surgery … we help people find relief from emotional issues, and recover qualities that they lost during a trauma, no matter how long ago.
Military Stress & Military Intelligence
2010 BBC News, Fort Lewis, Washington As troops return home, experts warn of depression, isolation, stress, anger, divorce and suicide. Scott Swaim, a Gulf War veteran and a therapist in the US state of Washington, says troops coming home go through a honeymoon period, but cannot leave their memories behind. “The depression is huge and suicide rates are off the charts” says Mr Swaim.
2010 McClatchy Newspapers The military discharge troops who suffer from combat stress, instead of providing treatment, according to US Senator Christopher Bond. Many soldiers discharged for adjustment disorders could be afflicted with post-traumatic stress disorders or brain injury, and have left the military without official medical diagnoses nor any chance of medical benefits.
2010 LA Times Every 36 hours, a member of the American armed forces commits suicide, according to the U.S. Department of Defense … the numbers of suicides among active-duty personnel has reached record levels in every branch of the armed services.
Solutions for Forgotten, Taboo & Repressed Memories
Do you have symptoms associated with trauma, but you cannot remember such an event? Do you have strong negative emotions but you only recall minor incidents? You may have hidden and forgotten some important memories. We can help you recover and assimilate them.
A common consequence of trauma is identity loss, in which you feel you have lost or hidden some part of yourself. It is so common that we define trauma – not as how severe we think it was, but as events that cause people to split-off parts of their identity.
If you were abused, or if you participated in or witnessed something that you could not rationalize, then you may have created limiting beliefs. Later, you will cling to your limiting beliefs – even to beliefs that you know are false.
When you are ready, we can help you pull yourself together
and assimilate your shadows from the past.
Consequences of Stress, Trauma & Abuse
If you experienced stress, trauma or abuse, and you cannot assimilate it, you are less likely to stay employed or married, and you are more likely to feel depressed, aggressive or violent. If this lowered your well-being or self-esteem … you may only relate to other people who have also suffered severe stress or trauma.
Symptoms that may follow Stress, Trauma or Abuse
If you split off some part of yourself during stress, abuse or trauma – and if you are motivated – we can help you recover, heal and integrate that part of you – and the life qualities that you may have hidden then. Until you heal this, you may act like a wounded child whenever something reminds you of that trauma.
I lost myself in an abusive childhood. You helped me reclaim my lost power,
confidence and dignity. Now I can talk about my parents and still feel good.
Dissolving Stress and Trauma
Medications are often used to manage the symptoms associated with abuse and trauma. But if the underlying identity loss is not restored, then the symptoms return, often in other forms and people may lose some of their qualities forever. The consequences are most often evident in people’s relationships.
I was a soldier during Croatia’s war with Serbia. My unit was in a village attacked by the Yugoslav army. I saw people being butchered … and I ran. I found a hole in a field and I stayed in it for 3 days. Part of me died in that hole. Since then I could not concentrate and I could be shocked to tears by sudden loud noises. During our sessions, I found the young me who I thought had died in that hole. Now I can concentrate and focus again – for the first time in years. Croatia
Going APE: Assimilating Problematic Experiences
The APES model (William Stiles, 1990) describes stages of change as people accept negative emotions, unpleasant experiences or inner conflicts. We help people progress through these stages. Here is a summary …
Assimilating Problematic Experiences (APE)
|Dissociate: People are unaware of their problems; they silence unpleasant thoughts and dissociate unpleasant feelings. They forget that they have forgotten something …
|Avoid: People avoid remembering or considering certain experiences. Their unpleasant thoughts and feelings are scattered, diffuse, unfocused or unclear.
|Accept: People cannot describe their unpleasant experiences clearly and are aware of emotional suffering or panic associated with the experiences.
|Clarify: People can recognize potential solutions and they can manage negative emotions and inner conflicts without suffering or panic.
|Understand: People can describe their experiences, conflicting thoughts and difficult consequences with some unpleasant feelings and some pleasant surprises.
|Apply: People can set goals to solve problems, using their conflicting thoughts and feelings to change life problems, becoming more optimistic in these contexts.
|Benefit: People use their problematic experiences as resources for solving problems. They enjoy flexible thoughts and feelings and feel generally optimistic and satisfied.
|Integrate: As people generalize solutions, the unpleasant experiences can become resources for resolving other experiences, situations and problems.
We can help you assimilate your emotions, regain your lost qualities
and solve your relationship issues.