Maturity & Responsibility … Alone © Martyn Carruthers
Contact us to manage negative emotions and solve relationship problems.
Are you entangled in difficult relationships or painful emotions?
Do you still suffer the consequences of your childhood?
Single Parents (continued from Single Parenting)
Single parents have many challenges, including some that they cannot solve. Some lack the knowledge or resources for fulfilling parenthood. Custodial parents have the practical problems of parenthood, while non-custodial parents may suffer from not being with their children.
Healthy parenthood requires intensive effort from both parents. Caring for children, from their physical health, though their schooling to their social behavior, requires intense commitment. Lack of parental support may precede future arrogance, aggression, withdrawal and dysfunctional behavior!
Do you believe that your children create their own reality; do you allow your children to deal with their life challenges without guidance? Do you forget to care, especially during a difficult separation? Do you use your children as bargaining pawns (see parental alienation syndrome).
For whatever reason, some people may be unable or unwilling to care for a child. Perhaps they divorced or perhaps a partner died or left. Perhaps the pregnancy was accidental (although, if you didn’t arrange an abortion, you avoid unpleasant consequences of abortion.)
We help single parents deal with deep overwhelming emotions and recover inner strength. You can do this in workshops, individual meetings or with telephone support. We present Single Parenting workshops, and we provide single parent coaching and consultations.
Everybody told me to give my children support and love. But I felt miserable about my divorce and almost crazy from guilt about an abortion. During our sessions, I cleaned up my misery and guilt – and now I can love and support my children. Innsbruck, Austria
Pregnancy and the birth of children represent an awesome responsibility – and an awesome potential for joyful fulfillment – and an awesome loss of freedom. Your children probably enjoy a more permissive childhood than you did, which can provoke predictable challenges.
Although single parent families and blended families are more common and accepted now, your challenges as a single parent may be very different to your parents’ challenges. If you feel overwhelmed – if you don’t know how to cope – we offer support. Some basic rules are:
- Take care of your children … and yourself
- Balance your time with your children’s time
- Enjoy a loving relationship with your children
- Help your children grow to independent adulthood
Many single parents still care for their ex-partners. If a partner has died, we can help you through the grief. If you have separated, we can help you understand your partnership breakdown, manage your entanglements and move on.
We can help you solve relationship problems and create wonderful relationships.
Single Parent Coaching
Our single parent coaching helps single parents solve parenting problems. Single parent coaching can recognize and support your individual and your family happiness. We offer you easy access to coaching support and you can enjoy another perspective as you cope with difficult situations.
A 2004* study of nearly 3000 mothers of young children found that mothers with food insecurity have a 53% higher incidence of depression, with depressive disorders lasting an average of about a year. (*Casey – Pediatrics 113, 298–304)
If you feel depressed, please visit a medical doctor before you contact us.
The two events most likely to trigger a single mothers’ depression are increased stress and decreased support. Yet single mothers may say that they lack the time and energy to reduce their stress and increase their support.
Many men have a fix and protect attitude. Men may listen long enough to identify a problem, and then focus on solutions or protection. Children may not want ready-made solutions; they often prefer coaching that helps them protect themselves and solve their own problems.
If you over-protect or over-fix, your children may rebel against you or become dependent on you. You can allow or encourage limited risks that help your children learn confidence as they learn to succeed.
Like most single parents, you are probably creative and resourceful! You have to be. It’s love, duty, hard work and often enough, little sleep for single parents. We can help you:
- Keep a sense of humor.
- Befriend your inner critics.
- Forgive yourself and others.
- Seek help for any guilt or depression.
- Let your children do what they can for themselves.
- List your stressors. Decide what you can control and focus, first.
- Avoid clutter and recycle household items. Get your kids involved.
- Remember deep breathing, taking mental holidays, enjoying a shower etc
Single Parents & Dating
After your partnership ended, you may feel that you lack time and energy for dating. And, if your children do not want a new parent, they may sabotage your efforts. Also, some charming male predators (often mother’s boys) target single mothers for short-term sexual activity.
A few questions …
- Have you healed? A new relationship may be tempting, especially to avoid the pain of a break-up. Give yourself time to heal and to rebuild your life.
- Have you family routines? Children enjoy consistency. Family routines can increase security.
- Who is most important? Children may resent your new relationship if they feel more ignored.
- Is there long-term potential? Assess a relationship before you introduce a new person to your children, consider their confusion and desire for security.
- Can you go slowly? Perhaps introduce the children to a new potential partner before arranging family activities. A person worth having in your life will understand your need to be careful.
- What about sex? Avoid disturbing your children with this side of your life.
- How can you feel ready for potential friends and partners? Contact us.
Contact us to resolve emotional and relationship problems.