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6 consigli per il successo di una relazione a distanza

da | 4.Ago. 2024 | Amore e intimità

relazione a distanza

 

La tecnologia rende più facile iniziare e mantenere relazioni a distanza. D'altra parte, le relazioni possono anche essere influenzate negativamente dalle maggiori aspettative di ambizione e mobilità, cioè dalla probabilità che uno dei due partner possa trovare un lavoro lontano dall'altro.

Ecco le sfide più comuni delle relazioni a distanza e i consigli su come affrontarle:

 

Valutazione della compatibilità

A common danger is that the couple, when they are together, focus on having a good time rather than exploring how compatible they really are. Later, if they start living together, they might end up unpleasantly surprised by all the incompatibilities they previously ignored or didn’t have a chance to notice. Therefore, it’s important to deliberately initiate conversations about values, habits, lifestyle, and expectations. (See also: Prepararsi al matrimonio o a vivere insieme)

Don’t sweep small confusions and frustrations under the carpet. Opening up about possible serious incompatibilities is always scary and difficult at first, and you might be afraid of losing the relationship. However, consider if it would be even worth keeping a relationship, if you couldn’t feel safe communicating your values and concerns? Such a relationship would fail sooner or later. The longer it persists before ending, the more heartache and wasted time you will suffer. Therefore, gather your courage and self-support, and address problems before they get worse. In a long-distance relationship, such challenging conversations might be easy to avoid, but avoiding doesn’t pay off in the long run.

 

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder”

Alcune persone sono attratte da interessi amorosi non disponibili o non del tutto disponibili, sia per paura dell'intimitào altri schemi emotivi sottostanti. (Vedi anche: Modelli nei rapporti d'amore.) La distanza può indurre alcune persone a idealizzare l'altro e a proiettare le proprie fantasie sul partner, invece di vederlo chiaramente. Se pensate che questo possa essere il vostro caso, vale anche il consiglio del paragrafo precedente.

 

“Out of sight, out of mind.”

Al contrario, altre persone potrebbero pensare meno spesso all'amante a distanza, e quindi provare meno affetto per lui, quanto meno tempo trascorrono insieme. In questo caso, assicuratevi di tenervi in contatto regolarmente, preferibilmente ogni giorno, e di condividere pensieri, battute, sentimenti ed esperienze per continuare a costruire il legame emotivo.

 

Affari e insicurezza

Long-distance relationships (LDRs) can make some people feel insecure because it’s easier for their partner to cheat. There is no guarantee of stability in any relationship. However, there are ways to ease this problem:

a) Avoid LDRs altogether if you don’t trust your partner, yourself, or have an anxious attachment style. (See also: Stili di attaccamento e disturbi e come guarirli)

b) intraprendere una relazione a distanza solo con una persona che abbia una storia di stabilità e impegno nelle relazioni, e che in generale mostri responsabilità e coerenza nelle abitudini e nei comportamenti quotidiani.

c) Assicuratevi che ci sia abbastanza fiducia tra di voi per discutere facilmente di eventuali tentazioni.

d) Evitare il sospetto e il tentativo di controllare il partner.

e) Lavorate per costruire un forte legame emotivo tra di voi, in modo che il vostro partner si senta appagato e sia meno propenso a cercare attenzioni altrove.

 

Avere una visione

Make plans for the future. It’s easier to look forward to the future and commit to the relationship if you trust that there is a future together. However, ensure that neither side sacrifices too much in finding a compromise, as this can lead to resentment that might eventually result in the relationship falling apart.

 

Saldo dell'investimento

Ensure that the financial burden of visiting each other is shared proportionally. If your incomes are similar, it’s fair that your expenses are similar. However, if there is a significant difference in your incomes, then splitting expenses equally may be disproportionate and out of balance. It is also important that there is balance in the time and effort both partners invest into the relationship. Coming to an agreement on this topic is also part of assessing compatibility and building trust.

In conclusion, successful relationships, whether long-distance or not, require open and honest communication, commitment, and mutual understanding. It’s crucial to address potential compatibility issues early on and avoid ignoring small problems that could escalate over time. For long-distance relationships, maintaining regular communication, building trust, and making future plans together can help overcome challenges and strengthen the bond between partners. Remember to prioritize emotional connection, trust, and shared responsibility. By addressing concerns openly and working together towards common goals, couples can build a strong foundation for a lasting and meaningful relationship, regardless of the physical distance.

 

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Kosjenka Muk

Kosjenka Muk

I’m an Integrative Systemic Coaching trainer and special education teacher. I taught workshops and gave lectures in 10 countries, and helped hundreds of people in 20+ countries on 5 continents (on- and offline) find solutions for their emotional patterns. I wrote the book “Emotional Maturity In Everyday Life” and a related series of workbooks.

Some people ask me if I do bodywork such as massage too – sadly, the only type of massage I can do is rubbing salt into wounds.

Just kidding. I’m actually very gentle. Most of the time.

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