如何保持自我提升的动力

Insufficient intensity and continuity of personal development work are common reasons why many people feel that their efforts do not produce results. At the first glance, this might look like a simple problem and that the solution to stay motivated is just some more willpower (or the latest fad).

然而，根本问题可能是以下一个或多个方面：

• 畏惧 不愉快或不自觉 信仰或情绪

• 害怕危及重要关系 (我们的许多有毒信念都是为了让我们在有毒环境中维持重要关系而产生的）。
• 变革恐惧 和未知；
• 逆反心理 这可能会让任何纪律处分的尝试都充满敌意和强加于人的感觉。这通常与以前被管教的经历有关；
• 严格遵守时间表 增加压抑和抵抗（而不是感受我们的自然节奏）；
• 失去意识 对痛苦的执着

Attachment to suffering is a complex and interesting idea, described by Eva Pierrakos in her book “Creating Union”. The author wrote that, as children, to defend ourselves from pain, we can 苦中作乐.在极端情况下，结果可能是 受虐狂 (或虐待狂，即把快乐投射到他人的痛苦上）。

To some extent, this pattern is present in everyone and is manifested through finding pleasure in complaining, retelling unpleasant events, playing victim roles, etc. Note that much humor is about other people’s pain. We may unconsciously 担心如果我们放弃痛苦，我们也会失去从痛苦中获得的任何快乐 (such as the pleasure many people find in complaining). That can certainly make it difficult to stay motivated! 

You might want to resolve some of these issues by searching for their causes – possible unpleasant experiences that triggered those patterns. However, some of them are so normal (e.g. resisting pressure and discipline) that it might make little sense to search for specific situations in which those patterns originated.

Apart from those emotional obstacles, there are simpler ones, e.g. forgetting, lack of time or focus due to the external circumstances. These, however, can also be ways to rationalize your unconscious self-sabotage.

You might feel 愧 if you take time for yourself by saying, “No” to others (who afterwards can 评论 about your personal development). If you would not feel guilty or shameful, you could schedule some time for yourself, and explain to your family why this is important to you. Mention some benefits for them, too. People will be most tolerant to changes in your behavior, if they perceive how they can benefit from them. Strange, isn’t it?

如果我们 don’t know what the reward is – we may not be familiar enough with feelings of freedom, ease, love and other life changes that we could achieve. If you do not have a good idea of your reward, your motivation can suffer.

Some ways you can stay motivated are:

• 最基本也是最重要的一点是：反复提醒自己，并试着想象自己拥有所有的 丰硕成果 和感受；

   

• use “negative motivation”想象一下，如果什么都不改变，五年或十年后你的生活和健康会是什么样子；选择适合你的方法和运动 最喜欢这将激励你，因为过程本身，而不仅仅是因为结果；
• 如果你觉得 阻力, 承认这一点，并花时间去探索它；
• 每天练习。有些人喜欢 附表而其他人的动机则更多是 灵活性 (although this won’t be practical for very busy people);
• 列出你认为最重要的想法和你喜欢的练习。定期提醒自己 重读名单

• 奖励自己 在经过预定时间的坚持练习后，也许是两周或一个月（避免垃圾食品或你知道对你没有好处的东西等奖励）；提醒自己，你从任何情况下学到的越多，你每天投入的努力越多，就会有 减少发生严重危机或疾病的机会

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