Why Unattractive Women Have Happier Marriages

? | 24.6 ?. 2016 | 爱与亲密关系

Many women are worried about their looks. I don?t really have to explain much about it. Sufficient to quote someone from endless online comment sections: ?I?ve never seen a woman who would be truly beautiful without make up.? Personally, I think it?s ridiculous. Many people wouldn?t, though. This is how being endlessly bombarded by photoshopped pictures can influence people.

However, there is something that I?ve noticed observing people in life and in my therapeutic practice: while beautiful women might receive more attention, it?s often the average (and sometimes below-average) looking women whose marriages are usually much happier and long lasting.

Cynics might say it?s because such women demand less of men because they want to keep them around. There might be some truth in it, but in my experience, it?s certainly not the detrimental part of the truth. I’ve even met some unattractive women with emotional issues including “borderline” syndrome; their husbands still treated them very well. It would seem that men who choose less attractive women as life partners generally have good quality values: they appreciate the essence rather than the surface, the woman?s personality rather than her looks.

In such a situation, both partners are probably more realistic and less concerned about status and appearance. This makes for a good start! Quite a few not-so-good looking women told me about their partners? kindness, consideration and patience. Often those are the marriages that are truly ?till death us do part?. The surviving partner usually cherishes the memory of the departed one.

Pretty women are usually attractive to men who value their looks and popularity. They might want a “trophy wife”, or confuse sexual attraction with love. When we see a pretty person, it’s easier to not seek further than the surface. Such men might eventually discover they don’t really like their wives’ personalities – or might not care one way or the other.

On the other hand, healthier and more balanced men might not even consider approaching a pretty woman, presuming she must have too many admirers already, or that she might be spoiled, or that she’d prefer somebody better looking. Sometimes true – often wrong. Strong and interesting identity is much more attractive than good looks or flattering.

So, ladies, if you think yourself not beautiful enough, this might give you more hope for your present or future relationships. Focus on projecting your personality rather than shying away from romance. Be your most intense self (in a good way!) Confidence, warmth and humor makes most people barely even notice one’s looks.

Consider going out without make up sometimes ? perhaps that would be a good filter for potential partners! Not many men might be attracted to you without your makeup, no matter what they might proclaim in theory ? but those who are, are more likely to be worth it.

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科斯扬卡-穆克

科斯扬卡-穆克

我是一名整合系统教练培训师和特殊教育教师。我在 10 个国家举办过工作坊和讲座,并帮助五大洲 20 多个国家的数百人(在线和离线)找到了情绪模式的解决方案。我撰写了《日常生活中的情感成熟》一书以及相关的系列工作手册。

有些人问我是否也做按摩等身体工作?

开个玩笑。其实我很温柔的。大多数时候

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