自己改善に取り組むモチベーションを維持する方法

執筆者 | 13.1月. 2007 | 個人の成長

Insufficient intensity and continuity of personal development work are common reasons why many people feel that their efforts do not produce results. At the first glance, this might look like a simple problem and that the solution to stay motivated is just some more willpower (or the latest fad).

しかし、根本的な問題は、以下のいずれか、あるいはそれ以上かもしれない:

  • 対決恐怖症 不快または無意識 

  • 大切な人間関係を危険にさらす恐れ (有毒な信念の多くは、有毒な状況でも大切な人間関係を維持できるように作られたものだ)
  • 変化への恐れ そして未知のもの;
  • 反抗心 これは、しつけの試みが敵対的で押しつけがましいものに感じられるかもしれない。これは通常、過去にしつけられた経験と関連している;
  • 厳格なスケジュールに従う 自然なリズムを感じることとは対照的に)抑圧と抵抗が強まる;
  • 意識不明 苦しみへの執着。

Attachment to suffering is a complex and interesting idea, described by Eva Pierrakos in her book “Creating Union”. The author wrote that, as children, to defend ourselves from pain, we can 苦しみを楽しむ.極端な場合、結果は マゾヒズム (あるいは、他者の苦しみに快楽を投影するサディズム)。

To some extent, this pattern is present in everyone and is manifested through finding pleasure in complaining, retelling unpleasant events, playing victim roles, etc. Note that much humor is about other people’s pain. We may unconsciously 苦しみを捨てれば、そこから得られる喜びも失うという恐れ (such as the pleasure many people find in complaining). That can certainly make it difficult to stay motivated! 

You might want to resolve some of these issues by searching for their causes – possible unpleasant experiences that triggered those patterns. However, some of them are so normal (e.g. resisting pressure and discipline) that it might make little sense to search for specific situations in which those patterns originated.

Apart from those emotional obstacles, there are simpler ones, e.g. forgetting, lack of time or focus due to the external circumstances. These, however, can also be ways to rationalize your unconscious self-sabotage.

You might feel 後ろめたい if you take time for yourself by saying, “No” to others (who afterwards can コメント about your personal development). If you would not feel guilty or shameful, you could schedule some time for yourself, and explain to your family why this is important to you. Mention some benefits for them, too. People will be most tolerant to changes in your behavior, if they perceive how they can benefit from them. Strange, isn’t it?

私たちは、自分自身を向上させようという意欲を次第に失っていく。 don’t know what the reward is – we may not be familiar enough with feelings of freedom, ease, love and other life changes that we could achieve. If you do not have a good idea of your reward, your motivation can suffer.

Some ways you can stay motivated are:

  • 基本的で最も重要なことは、何度も何度も自分に言い聞かせることである。 素晴らしい結果 根気強く練習を続けることで、達成できるかもしれない;

     

  • use “negative motivation”もし何も変わらなければ、5年後、10年後に自分の人生と健康がどうなっているかを想像し、自分に合ったアプローチとエクササイズを選択する。 最も楽しむ結果だけでなく、そのプロセスそのものがモチベーションを高めてくれる;
  • と感じたら 抵抗それを認め、時間をかけて探求する;
  • 毎日練習する。人によっては スケジュールという動機の人もいれば、次のような動機の人もいる。 柔軟性 (although this won’t be practical for very busy people);
  • 最も重要だと思うアイデアや、好きなエクササイズをリストアップする。定期的に リストを読み直す

  • 自分へのご褒美 2週間や1ヶ月など、決められた期間(ジャンクフードや体に良くないと分かっているものなどのご褒美は避ける)練習に打ち込んだ後、どんな状況からも学ぶことが多いこと、毎日努力すればするほど、その成果が出ることを自分に言い聞かせる。 深刻な危機や病気になる可能性が低い

 

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コジェンカ・ムク

コジェンカ・ムク

I’m an Integrative Systemic Coaching trainer and special education teacher. I taught workshops and gave lectures in 10 countries, and helped hundreds of people in 20+ countries on 5 continents (on- and offline) find solutions for their emotional patterns. I wrote the book “Emotional Maturity In Everyday Life” and a related series of workbooks.

Some people ask me if I do bodywork such as massage too – sadly, the only type of massage I can do is rubbing salt into wounds.

Just kidding. I’m actually very gentle. Most of the time.

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