Technology is making long-distance relationships easier to start and maintain. On the other hand, relationships can also be negatively influenced by increased expectations of ambition and mobility, i.e. by the likelihood that either of the partners might find a job far away from the other.
Here are the most common long-distance relationship challenges and advice how to deal with them:
Assessing compatibility
A common danger is that the couple, when they are together, focus on having a good time rather than exploring how compatible they really are. Later, if they start living together, they might end up unpleasantly surprised by all the incompatibilities they previously ignored or didn?t have a chance to notice. Therefore, it?s important to deliberately initiate conversations about values, habits, lifestyle, and expectations. (See also: 結婚または同棲の準備)
Don?t sweep small confusions and frustrations under the carpet. Opening up about possible serious incompatibilities is always scary and difficult at first, and you might be afraid of losing the relationship. However, consider if it would be even worth keeping a relationship, if you couldn?t feel safe communicating your values and concerns? Such a relationship would fail sooner or later. The longer it persists before ending, the more heartache and wasted time you will suffer. Therefore, gather your courage and self-support, and address problems before they get worse. In a long-distance relationship, such challenging conversations might be easy to avoid, but avoiding doesn?t pay off in the long run.
?Distance makes the heart grow fonder?
Some people are attracted to unavailable or not-quite-available love interests, whether out of fear of intimacy, or other underlying emotional patterns. (See also: 恋愛関係のパターン.) Distance can cause some people to idealize their significant other and project their own fantasies onto their partner, rather than seeing them clearly. If you feel this might be the case with you, the advice in the paragraph above also applies.
?Out of sight, out of mind.?
Conversely, other people might think less often of, and therefore feel less for, their long-distance lover the less time they spend together. If that might be the case, make sure to keep in touch regularly, preferably daily, and share thoughts, jokes, feelings, and experiences to keep building the emotional connection.
Affairs and insecurity
Long-distance relationships (LDRs) can make some people feel insecure because it?s easier for their partner to cheat. There is no guarantee of stability in any relationship. However, there are ways to ease this problem:
a) Avoid LDRs altogether if you don?t trust your partner, yourself, or have an anxious attachment style. (See also: 愛着スタイルとその障害、そしてその癒し方)
b) Only enter into a long-distance relationship with a person who has a history of stability and commitment in relationships, and generally exhibits responsibility and consistency in daily habits and behavior.
c) Ensure there is enough trust between you to easily discuss any temptations.
d) Avoid suspicion and trying to control your partner.
e) Work on building a strong emotional bond between you so that your partner feels fulfilled and is less likely to seek attention elsewhere.
Have a vision
Make plans for the future. It?s easier to look forward to the future and commit to the relationship if you trust that there is a future together. However, ensure that neither side sacrifices too much in finding a compromise, as this can lead to resentment that might eventually result in the relationship falling apart.
Balance of investment
Ensure that the financial burden of visiting each other is shared proportionally. If your incomes are similar, it?s fair that your expenses are similar. However, if there is a significant difference in your incomes, then splitting expenses equally may be disproportionate and out of balance. It is also important that there is balance in the time and effort both partners invest into the relationship. Coming to an agreement on this topic is also part of assessing compatibility and building trust.
In conclusion, successful relationships, whether long-distance or not, require open and honest communication, commitment, and mutual understanding. It?s crucial to address potential compatibility issues early on and avoid ignoring small problems that could escalate over time. For long-distance relationships, maintaining regular communication, building trust, and making future plans together can help overcome challenges and strengthen the bond between partners. Remember to prioritize emotional connection, trust, and shared responsibility. By addressing concerns openly and working together towards common goals, couples can build a strong foundation for a lasting and meaningful relationship, regardless of the physical distance.
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