Comment savoir si votre partenaire a vraiment tourné la page sur son ancienne relation ?

crédit photo : Negar Nikkhah

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Question: Comment savoir si votre partenaire a vraiment oublié son ancienne relation ou s'il cache ses sentiments pour vous épargner ?

Réponse:

• ils font preuve d'un réel enthousiasme à l'idée d'être avec vous (non seulement verbalement, mais aussi non verbalement)
• ils communiquent beaucoup et ouvertement avec vous, ils prennent souvent l'initiative de la communication et partagent leur vie avec vous
• leur comportement non verbal vous rassure (voir le premier point)
• they rarely mention their ex, and when they do, it’s with a neutral attitude (a negative attitude can also be acceptable if the ex was toxic, but it can also be a red flag if they talk negatively about most of their past relationships. See also: Drapeaux rouges dans les relations)
• ils sont émotionnellement ouverts et disponibles.

The most important thing is to listen to your healthy gut feeling (which is a different thing than fears and self-doubt that might be coming from your childhood – more about it in Comment prendre de meilleures décisions ?)

I recommend discussing your concerns about your partner’s past relationship with them directly. If they are healthy and honest, they will likely validate your feelings and share their own in a calm and transparent manner. Pay attention to their non-verbal communication to see if it is open and congruent or if it appears tense and guarded. Be mindful of whether they attempt to gaslight you or shift the focus by criticizing you. (Keep in mind that if this topic has already been a source of conflict, your partner might feel attacked or controlled by repeated questioning, which could lead to avoidant behavior. Excessive jealousy can sometimes create an environment where a partner feels it is not safe to speak openly.)

Another important factor to consider, especially if you are preoccupied with comparisons to your partner’s past relationships, is your own self-worth and confidence. People who feel secure and confident in their value are not troubled by such comparisons. This inner confidence also makes them more attractive.

Rather than dwelling on your partner’s past relationship, consider using this as an opportunity for personal growth and healing. When you start to feel insecure or doubtful, shift your focus to practicing self-love. Our exercice guidé ici peut vous aider dans ce processus. En développant une bonne estime de soi, vous vous ferez davantage confiance, ce qui facilitera vos décisions en matière de relations.

Lire la suite :

Peut-on rester en contact avec un ex ?

Quand l'espoir est une émotion "négative

Drapeaux verts : comment reconnaître une relation saine ?

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