如何保持内心的温暖

Human warmth is a fragile thing. Even children who show or ask for emotional warmth are often rejected, ignored or even ridiculed. School, college and business are often brutal environments where people who fight for power are often the loudest and have the most followers, while more sensitive people keep quiet so that they wouldn’t become targets. 为了保护自己，我们会变得愤怒、尖刻和冷酷 – even to our own children. Many people extinguish their emotional warmth while still very young.

在这个至少有 三分之一的人欣赏冷漠和傲慢, in which a huge number of people follow “leaders” such as Trump and Putin not despite, but 因为 they show brute force without compassion, consideration and thoughtfulness. The same world in which warm men are increasingly loudly labeled as “beta”, while women are considered weak by definition. Where more and more people flaunt their hatred and prejudice, some truly believing that’s what would “save” their tribe.

但请注意，你拥有世界急需的东西。 大多数人都在寻求这种温暖无论他们如何否认。是的，有些人会试图 钻空子 if they notice it. But you can learn to recognize such people. You don’t have to wear your heart on the sleeve, but you can learn to cherish it, to protect it and to nurture it within. You can 先给自己然后把它送给欣赏它的人（也包括你的孩子）。

如果这个世界似乎想扼杀、窒息和贬低你的温暖，那就先把它包在自己身上。你可能会发现，虽然你无法依靠他人的支持，但你绝对可以依靠自己。这一点弥足珍贵。没人能夺走它。但你需要 认识到自己温暖的价值而不是相信那些试图让你看起来软弱的人。

Warmth is not a weakness. It’s power. It’s what makes society function. It’s what makes humanity survive. It makes people happy and gives their lives meaning.

Don’t get caught in the traditional prejudice that it’s “women’s job” to be warm. It’s everybody’s job. Women need warmth just as much as men, and men can be just as warm as any woman. That doesn’t take away from anybody’s strength, quite the opposite.

Don’t waste your warmth on people who don’t appreciate it, even if you feel you should be trying to help them. You won’t help them if they are not willing to see it and recognize its value. Don’t push your warmth towards people, but let it curl up within you, let it seep through and 跟上.

保持界限。 注意哪些人想从你身上获取养分，却不懂得感恩和回报（即使有时他们可能会假装或相信自己是这样做的）。如果你任由自己被吸干，精疲力竭，那么对于那些值得你温暖的人来说，可能就没有温暖可言了。是的，你可能需要用 微怒 让你意识到自己的需求和价值。但是，一丁点的愤怒也会让你走得更远，它可以让你免于失望和痛苦。 你的爱和你的愤怒可以和谐共处。

In the meantime, brute force might attract more and more followers, until it creates enough damage that people will be forced to learn that societies cannot survive in such a way. Then balance will be restored again – until some new generations forget those lessons and have to learn them again. But every time it needs to be re-learned, something is added to it. Emotional warmth becomes at least a bit more valuable. Evolution is slow, but ongoing.

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