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Successful Relationships With Asperger’s Syndrome

by | 4.Aug. 2024 | Love & Intimacy

From Q&A section: Is it possible for people with Asperger’s syndrome to have successful relationships? What are some tips for maintaining a healthy relationship for individuals with Asperger’s syndrome, as well as their partners?

Answer: Every person and relationship is unique, of course, but the more awareness, compassion, and good communication there is, the longer a relationship can last. Here is what someone with Asperger’s should pay attention to:

  • Other people might have different emotional needs and function differently when it comes to emotions. It’s important to understand that people need compassion for their emotions first, and logic only after that, even when those emotions might not be quite realistic. See also: How To Use Validation While Being Criticized
  • For someone with Asperger’s syndrome , it’s important to honestly communicate about their condition and how it might express. It might be necessary to occasionally remind their partner that, for example, missing social cues or unusual non-verbal communication is not due to lack of respect or interest but a symptom of the condition. They might need to reassure their partner of their love more often than it seems necessary, and check if the partner feels understood and appreciated.
  • It’s important to recognize that their own interests might not be interesting to others, even people who love them. Avoid talking about “niche” interests for too long and check with your SO if they might find it not to their liking.
  • They need to do their best to describe how they function emotionally, socially, and intellectually to their partner so that the partner can understand them better.

The neurotypical partner should:

  • Learn about the symptoms of Asperger’s syndrome and remind themselves to be compassionate and not take them personally.
  • Not expect the partner with Asperger’s to fulfill all of their communication and social needs. Delegate some of that to friends.
  • Encourage the partner with Asperger’s to talk about what is going on inside of them.
  • Be compassionate and respectful to the partner’s symptoms, such as the need for routine or not understanding certain types of humor.

Both might benefit from professional counseling.

 

Read on:

How To Overcome Social Rejection And Awkwardness

10 Key Rules For Communication In A Relationship

How To Give Advice To Your Partner Without Arguing

 

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Kosjenka Muk

Kosjenka Muk

I’m an Integrative Systemic Coaching trainer and special education teacher. I taught workshops and gave lectures in 10 countries, and helped hundreds of people in 20+ countries on 5 continents (on- and offline) find solutions for their emotional patterns. I wrote the book “Emotional Maturity In Everyday Life” and a related series of workbooks.

Some people ask me if I do bodywork such as massage too – sadly, the only type of massage I can do is rubbing salt into wounds.

Just kidding. I’m actually very gentle. Most of the time.