なぜ被害者非難が必要なのか？

When you read about people in trouble, or victims of violence or political circumstances… do you mentally find reasons why such things wouldn’t happen to you? “I’d do differently in such a situation…”, “In her place, I’d try to escape…”, “That’s just how those people are, why don’t they fight against oppression…”, or a popular idea among New Age groups, “They probably brought it onto themselves by their negative thoughts!”

被害者を責めるのは、人間として当たり前のことだ。 defense strategy – an attempt to override our own fears and create a feeling that we are not another potential victim of circumstances. The feeling that we, too, might be out of control over our own lives is frightening and it’s a natural need to try to avoid it, even if the logic required is extremely subjective.

悲しいことに、その結果、暴力の被害者（あるいは時には事故の被害者）を微妙に非難したり、まったく非難しなかったりすることが多い。 加害者の責任は無視されるか、あるいは積極的に軽減されることさえある。.恐怖を避けるために、 we don’t want to give too much power or attention to an aggressor; we don’t want to feel that in a similar situations, we would probably end up as a victim too. We want to feel that we would be stronger, more “special”, so we seek ideas which would make us feel that a victim’s fate was avoidable in a specific situation, but the person involved must have made some wrong decisions to end up like that.

被害者が過ちを犯すことはある。しかし who doesn’t make mistakes? 信じていた人が信用できないことが判明したら、自分が傷つく可能性があったという状況は、これまでの人生でありましたか？(私は知っている。) あるいは、ほんの些細なことが違う結果になったら？リスクを承知で、しかしトラブルになる可能性は小さいと考え、何度リスクを冒したか？ いつも完璧に安全策をとっていて、本当に充実した人生を送れるのだろうか？

ドメスティック・バイオレンスのように、ある程度予測可能で被害者に選択の余地がある暴力を考慮する場合でも、常に暴力は存在する。 生い立ちや幼少期の環境教育など、人々が通常無視するような状況はいくらでもある。. How many people are brainwashed, by religion, bed-time stories and such, that “love conquers everything”, “self-sacrifice is noble” (sometimes it is, but not when there isn’t enough responsibility from the other side), or that compassion equals appeasement?

多くの人が “learned helplessness” syndrome through family role-models or experience of direct abuse. Many learn it’s not acceptable to say “No”. Can any of us claim that we have fully gotten rid of our own families’ beliefs and traditions? For a person who grew up in an abusive family, abuse can appear normal and inevitable. They might not be aware of what else is possible, they might perceive it as unavailable, or they might believe that other people are just pretending to be happy.

そして、自分自身の恐れを回避する必要性から、次のようなことができる。 すでに十分に苦しんでいる人々に、さらに苦しみをもたらす. We can be arrogant to people who experienced injustice, betrayal or violence. “Couldn’t you see the 赤旗?” Of course there were red flags, but who of us pays serious attention to every single red flag in our relationships with others? If we all did so, we’d avoid the rest of humanity most of the time. Even our doubts sometimes need to be doubted.

このような心理的防衛戦略を避けることはできないが、その正体を見抜くことはできる。. We can consciously give voice to the compassionate and responsible parts of us. Imagine, for example, that your son or daughter are in distress, or your love partner, best friend… how would you think then? What would you do? This kind of attitude can not only help us avoid hurting an unfortunate person even more, it can motivate us to make the world better. Victim blaming is easy. Compassion requires emotional maturity.

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