年齢回帰とは何か？

年齢退行の概念について

After all these years of writing about and working with emotions from childhood, it may finally be time to clarify some more the term I use in virtually every other article. 🙂

Generally, the term “age regression” is used in several different meanings depending on the context and the approach. It is sometimes used as a term for guided visualization or a therapeutic approach that leads a client to discover traumatic childhood memories. In developmental psychology, the term describes periods in which children return to behaviors they have already grown out of, common in earlier stages of development, usually as an attempt to avoid difficulties and challenges in the present. Such a phase can take weeks, even months.

However, in our approach, “age regression” refers to the 子供の頃の感情が呼び覚まされる瞬間過去の未解決の何かを思い出させるような状況で。ほとんどの人は、自分の感情的な反応の一部が子供じみたものであることに気づいていない。このようなことはほとんどの人に一日に何度も起こるが、そのほとんどは特に重要なことではなく、環境からの何らかの引き金に対して、短時間でわずかな不快感や不安を感じるだけである。

年齢退行の瞬間は、それが他人や自分自身に対する私たちの行動に悪影響を及ぼすほど強烈なものであるとき、私たちの人生の質にとって重要なもの、決定的なものにさえなる。例えば、本当の原因ではない人に向けられる子供じみた怒りの瞬間、落ち込んだり無感覚になったり、自分を犠牲にして偏った行動を引き起こしたりする子供じみた恥や罪悪感、無意識の子供じみた不全感を隠す傲慢さ、自分を立てたら罰が下るのではないかという恐怖心、有害な人と恋に落ちることなどである（参照）： あなたの潜在意識は愛について何を信じているのか？) …

進化、生存、そして学習

The reason for such reactions is that we learn how to survive, how to be human beings, and how to adjust to our surroundings in early childhood, mostly in preschool. Evolution – primarily concerned with survival, not necessarily the quality of life – instilled in us the instinct to trust our parents and our early environment, and to seek their approval and belonging in order to survive. There are also children in which this instinct is less pronounced, but most children have it, and some may have a little too much of it.

We learn how to survive partly by imitating the adults around us and partly through our own experience – often through punishment, criticism, rejection, intimidation and even the violence we experience. A child also conducts many small experiments with his or her own behavior, unconsciously creating a growing database of which behaviors bring the most benefit for the smallest “price”, either physically or emotionally. What conclusions one draws depends largely on the everyday reactions of the environment, but also on our innate instincts such as the instinct of empathy and cooperation (which are not the same in everybody). Based on our accumulated experience in combination with our innate tendencies, we create our habits of spontaneous reactions to the environment.

Every day, whatever happens around us, our subconscious constantly compares the details of the current situation with the rich treasure trove of memories, and how we have learned to survive and avoid discomfort in similar situations in the past. Instead of trying to find an “original” solution in every situation, which would take our time and energy away from various other things, the more experience we have, the more our subconscious relies on previously learned and eventually automated solutions, including emotional reactions.

そのため、幼少期に似たような状況に直面すると、古い感情反応が、似たような状況で生き残るために学んだ方法を思い出させ、これらの感情が自動化された行動を刺激する傾向がある。問題なのは、幼い頃に作られ蓄積されたこれらの感情が、幼い頃の未熟さ、間違った結論、そしてしばしば環境との関係における幼い頃の不利（依存、身体的・知的未発達）を反映していることである。

That is why childish emotions and reactions are, most of the time, unrealistic, or at least unrealistic in relation to our adult abilities and range of choices, but our brains are most often unaware of this. Too bad evolution didn’t come up with some more adaptable learning principle, but perhaps it could have been worse, too.

年齢退行の見分け方

年齢退行の最大の問題は、その感情が非現実的であることではなく、実際に何が起こっているのかを人々が一般的に認識していないことである。自己啓発に関心のある人は、通常、少なくとも基本的な概念については多少なりとも知っているものだが、年齢退行の瞬間を認識するのは、通常、それが現れた時よりも、それが過ぎ去った後の回顧の方がはるかに簡単である。しかし、多くの人はこのようなことにまったく気づいておらず、自分の感情のいくつか（多くはないにしても）が非現実的で不必要なものであることに気づいて、かなり驚くかもしれない。

Childish emotions, when they emerge, are usually much more intense than realistic and adult ones. Just as we as children are deeply immersed in our experiences, and our emotions are intense and simple, such intensity and immediacy of emotions are present even as they emerge decades later. It is logical that one would assume that the more intense the emotion, the more realistic it is. But in adulthood, the opposite is usually the case. (Not always, though, as I mentioned in the article “恐怖の贈り物 “).

このようなことに気づかず、自分の激しい感情を信じて、多くの人は不必要な葛藤（あるいは引きこもり）、内面的な自責の念、あるいは殺人を含む肉体的な清算によって、自分自身と他人の人生の質を損ない続けている。法廷で弁護士が言うところの 心神耗弱, I’d guess in most cases is related to uncontrolled childish emotions.

The variations in childish reactions are endless just as every personal past is unique. But once you understand what is going on, with a little exercise you can learn to recognize age regression in yourself fairly easily. Then even if you can’t resolve it on the spot, at least it will be easier to put such emotions aside for later rather than having them guide you. Here I will copy what I wrote in the article “感情の成熟” on how to recognize childish emotions (because it’s useful to have this in more than one place):

健全な、あるいは大人の感情とは:

– 適切 in their intensity to the situation (in everyday situations, it’s usually mild discomfort, like a warning)

– 私たちは状況の複雑さやさまざまな視点を見ることができる、

– Healthy emotions やる気を起こさせる 適切で建設的な行動のためのエネルギーを私たちに与えてください、

– We usually have no problem 表現 それは、家族の中で認められ、表現することができたからだ。(しかし、もし私たちの大人としての感情が 不健康な感情混じり と罪悪感を抱く。これは最も一般的なことで、多くの人は幼少期に、自分の感情を心から表現すると罪悪感を感じることを学ぶからである)。

– There is 緊張と不快感がなくなる 事態が解決すれば

– There is no black or white attitude, we 両面を捉える 物語のW相手を複雑な人間として見ることができ、人格と行動を切り離すことができる。

– We 屈辱を感じない また、他人を辱めたり傷つけたりする必要もない。

不健全な（子供じみた）感情、 または年齢退行を特徴づけるものである。:

– either 激しすぎる

– The ideas and thoughts that accompany them are simplified, generalized, “either – or”

– They often include an インナーコンフリクト通常、以下の間である。 有罪 (私のせいかもしれないそして 恥 (バカなことをした)を片側に、そして 怒り (彼らに私をそんなふうに扱う権利はない！もう一方は不快な身体感覚を伴う）。この葛藤は 貫く long after the unpleasant situation is over. Even if you are objectively right, such emotions can show you that there is a part of you that either is frightened or feels guilty. Some childish emotions can feel good temporarily (arrogance, spite…) but the inner conflict remains.

– These inner conflicts エネルギーを消耗する 長引くと、ストレスや疲労を引き起こす。

– You feel that you are (primarily) 右と相手（主に） 不正解 (その逆もあるが、子供や非常に不安定な人に多い）。

– You feel ぎこちない 自分自身について考えることで、モチベーションが上がるかもしれない。 謗る そして他人の欠点をさらに見つける。

どうする？

With some introspection, most people can learn to recognize age regression relatively quickly. The problem is that even when we know an emotion is childish, it is still much easier to give in to it than to resist it. Another common mistake is to try to fight these emotions and push them down. So what to do if we should neither indulge or suppress them? One nice quote from an author I forgot: “Emotions are like children: you won’t let them behind the wheel, but you won’t put them in the trunk, either.”

以下を試してみてほしい：

– Recognize that a particular emotion is actually a memory, a 過去の反動現在ではない

– Try to identify of what (or whom) does the situation or the person who triggered the emotion remind you

– Remind yourself that you are an adult and have far more choice, knowledge and experience than when you were a child

– Connect with a child part of you which is overwhelmed with emotion, convey to that part of yourself a sense of support, protection, and especially a sense of self-worth

– Think of a parent (or a healthier version of a parent) supporting you, or perhaps a good friend or some quality authority as support.

ある感情が持続し、生活の中で頻繁に起こるのであれば、それはおそらくトラウマの結果か、幼少期の感情的愛着に問題があるのだろう。トラウマやトラウマに関連した人間関係に対処し、新しい感情パターンを構築するためには、より複雑な作業が必要となる。

When I first dived into the sea of ​​psychological literature, it was a great relief and inspiration for me to learn that most of the heavy emotions are neither realistic nor necessary, and that such emotions and beliefs can change. Maybe for some of the (newer) readers, this might be a revelation too.

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