+385 98 9205 935 iscmentoring.eu@gmail.com

Comment communiquer avec votre conjoint lorsqu'il est fâché contre vous ?

par | 4.Août. 2024 | Communication

Question: How to communicate with my wife when she’s angry with me? No matter what I say, it seems to make things worse.

Answer:

Most importantly: first validate and understand. Only after that, explain your point of view.

It?s a normal human need (even if a bit irrational sometimes) for our emotions to be validated and understood. If we don?t feel the other person does that, we can persist in our anger even if it?s irrational.

So encourage your partner to tell you everything about how they feel, what thoughts are coming to their mind, and what worries them. Empathize and do your best to understand ? which does not mean you have to agree. Understanding and disagreement do not exclude each other. Encourage them to tell you even more about how they feel. Make sure you don?t lose their trust by invalidating those feelings and telling them they shouldn?t feel that way. It?s quite possible they already know their emotions might be a bit exaggerated (if they are ? it?s common but not a given), but feeling safe to express them will also make them feel safe to let them go.

Ask them directly for their suggestions how to communicate for better understanding and more trust. As long as their request is reasonable and not manipulative or out of balance, make sure to remember and use it. That’s the best way to build trust.

Only after they feel understood, you can explain or defend yourself. I know that can be very difficult ? but it pays off in the long run!

After your partner has calmed down, you might want to check if your behavior reminded them of someone from their early family. This is a common source of misplaced anger. Make sure it doesn?t sound like you are avoiding responsibility by accusing them of overreaction.

 

Lire la suite :

10 règles clés pour la communication dans une relation

Comment donner des conseils à votre partenaire sans vous disputer ?

How To Validate While Being Criticized

 

Tous les articles 

Coaching en ligne 

More questions and answers

Kosjenka Muk

Kosjenka Muk

Je suis formatrice en coaching systémique intégratif et enseignante spécialisée. J'ai donné des ateliers et des conférences dans 10 pays, et j'ai aidé des centaines de personnes dans plus de 20 pays sur 5 continents (en ligne et hors ligne) à trouver des solutions à leurs schémas émotionnels. J'ai écrit le livre "Emotional Maturity In Everyday Life" (La maturité émotionnelle au quotidien) et une série de cahiers d'exercices associés.

Certaines personnes me demandent si je fais aussi du travail corporel comme des massages ? malheureusement, le seul type de massage que je peux faire est de frotter du sel dans les plaies.

Je plaisante. En fait, je suis très doux. La plupart du temps.

fr_FRFrançais