Verwandeln Sie emotionalen Schmerz in Leidenschaft und Inspiration

Körperliche Schmerzen sind ein Signal, dass etwas nicht stimmt. Unsere automatische Reaktion ist, ihn so schnell wie möglich zu lindern. Es ist nur logisch, dass wir auf emotionale Schmerzen genauso reagieren.

Außerdem sind wir von unseren Gemeinschaften und unserer Kultur darauf konditioniert, unangenehme Emotionen zu vermeiden, sie zu verstecken und zu unterdrücken. Wir nehmen sie oft als Schwäche wahr, als ein Zeichen von Ohnmacht und Versagen. Aber was wäre, wenn Emotionaler Schmerz kann uns am meisten lehren und uns am meisten inspirieren?

Emotional pain is often a signal that we are limiting ourselves, that we don’t follow our potential and our ideals, that there is something deep and vitally important from which we have distanced ourselves, or against which we have built internal walls. Emotionaler Schmerz lädt uns zur Veränderung ein.

If you pay attention to what your pain is telling you, if you are willing to hear not only what is wrong or missing, but also what choices are possible – if you are ready to drop your internal self-censorship and mental barriers – you’ll probably find that your pain wants to show you possibilities you didn’t think of, or rejected as too challenging and not safe enough.

It doesn’t necessarily mean (but it might) that you need to make dramatic changes in your life and start something completely different. Maybe your pain will simply tell you that you need more authenticity and deep honesty in life, more fulfilling relationships with others, or what would make you feel more alive and bring more meaning into your life.

For various reasons – tradition, habits, religion, security, control – our communities teach us quite early in life to suppress our authenticity and passion. Pain reminds us of what we forgot, of deeper needs we learned to drown in distractions. Ignoring pain (out of habit, fear of change or self-doubt) can keep people not only in shallow existence, but even in abusive relationships sometimes.

Two among the biggest religions/philosophies in the world (Hinduism and Buddhism) in essence focus on escaping and reducing suffering as their end goal. Another one – Christianity – teaches people to meekly accept suffering as a way to earn presumed reward in the afterlife. In the last few decades, the philosophy of “positive thinking” urges us to ignore, avoid or cut off all unpleasant thoughts and feelings. Can you imagine how different the world would be if all those philosophies taught us to Machen Sie das Beste aus dem SchmerzSie nutzen sie, um unsere Motivation und Kreativität zu steigern?

Der Zweck von emotionalem Leid ist es, uns aufzuwecken und zu motivieren. Once you are aware of this, it might seem insane how most people do whatever they can to suppress, avoid and ignore emotional pain. It’s normal to prefer happiness over pain. But we can’t live true fulfillment and wealth of experience if we close ourselves from the whole range of honest emotions and ignore what they try to teach us.

Der Schmerz sagt uns im Wesentlichen, dass die Veränderung, die wir wollen, unsere tiefste Sehnsucht, viel wichtiger ist als alle Ausreden, Ängste und Mauern we use to keep the status quo. Pain tries to motivate us to accept the challenge, to come out of the familiar into something new, to “stretch ourselves” further than we thought we could. Doesn’t it sound like a much richer, more meaningful life than just searching for fun and pleasure?

Don’t seek happiness, seek intensity!

Ich sage gerne zu mir selbst, dass jede Erfahrung ist besser als keine Erfahrung. Eine solche Einstellung erfordert, dass Sie die Möglichkeit akzeptieren, in neuen Situationen Enttäuschungen und alle Arten von Unbehagen zu erleben. Das wiederum setzt voraus, dass Sie sich mit all Ihren Emotionen anfreunden und erkennen, dass selbst die unangenehmen Gefühle nicht dazu da sind, Sie zu verletzen, sondern um Ihr Leben zu verbessern.

Es hat etwas zutiefst Befreiendes und Inspirierendes, sich willentlich möglichen Unannehmlichkeiten auszusetzen. Nicht aus Masochismus und auf der Suche nach Schmerz, sondern um mehr darüber zu erfahren, wer Sie sind und wozu Sie fähig sind, und um letztlich eine Beziehung zu sich selbst aufzubauen, die durch nichts in der Welt erschüttert werden kann.

When I look back in my life, I can see how some painful periods pushed me forward and motivated me to do more and go further than I otherwise would. Also, this happened just about every time when I allowed happiness to lull me into comfortable routine, into slowing down and diminishing my expectations of myself. Recognizing that, I decided to never in the future allow myself to become complacent when I’m happy, but to keep straining my mind and seeking new challenges.

I believe that even the worst experiences in life can make you more thoughtful, more compassionate, more connected to what is really important in life, more intensely motivated and ultimately lead you to live a far richer life internally, than the life of content complacency.  And who knows, perhaps if you pay attention and learn your lessons intensely from small crises, you might not need bigger drama in your life.

I’ve been writing before about how important it is to hören Sie auf alle unsere Emotionen und auf Botschaften, die uns von Trauer, Sehnsucht und Frustrationen übermittelt werden, und auch darüber, wie auch Kinder brauchen Herausforderungen rather than protectiveness. Yet I still spent many years thinking of emotional pain more as an anomaly than an important catalyst in life. In my work, I used to focus on resolving emotional pain from childhood and turning it into pleasant emotions. Now I think it’s much more important to turn it into motivation and passion.

In Western civilization, people with schizophrenia who “hear voices” in their minds, usually hear unpleasant, frightening or malicious messages. Did you know that in countries where “hearing voices” is considered holy rather than a frightening disease, such people much more often hear uplifting, encouraging, positive messages? Makes you stop and think a bit, at least I’d hope so. I find it’s usually very similar with less pleasant emotions: the less we see them as “negative” and wrong, the more empowering and inspiring they can be.

Once you allow pain to crush and strip away all inner rigidity, self-deceit and societal lies, all excuses and fears, you are left with who you truly are and what is truly important. It’s the end of “the long dark night of the soul”. You come out strong, full of purpose and passionately alive. The word “happiness” loses its meaning compared to this state. Will you get there? You have a choice, every minute of every day.

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