By traditional gender roles, many people presume that the man works outside the home to earn money, while the woman takes on the roles of mother and housewife. (Throughout most of human history, this wasn’t actually the norm, as women also had to work to ensure the family’s survival in addition to managing household chores.) Such gender roles make the woman dependent on the man for many of her basic needs, while also adding extra pressure on the man to earn money. Such imbalance often leads to loss of respect and trust, and can easily result in power abuse, including physical abuse.
The woman may feel like a slave, working all day without a salary and perhaps enduring disrespect and abuse on top of that. She may feel infantilized, imprisoned in her home, cut off from opportunities to explore her potential. The man might resent the financial imbalance and may dismiss the value of the woman’s work.
Das Ungleichgewicht von Macht und Möglichkeiten in traditionellen Geschlechterrollen kann zu emotionalen und kommunikativen Problemen führen, selbst wenn beide Parteien es gut meinen. So kann die Frau zum Beispiel auf Nörgelei, Manipulation oder die Rolle des Opfers zurückgreifen, weil sie keine anderen Möglichkeiten hat, Einfluss zu nehmen. Auf der anderen Seite kann der Mann mit Ablehnung, Respektlosigkeit oder Rückzug reagieren, weil er das Gefühl hat, kein gleichwertiger Partner zu sein.
Die Probleme gehen in traditionellen patriarchalischen Gesellschaften noch weiter, wo Frauen in der Regel schlecht ausgebildet sind, weil man davon ausgeht, dass sie Hausfrauen bleiben werden. Dieser Mangel an Bildung wird dann als Vorwand benutzt, um Frauen als weniger fähig abzustempeln und sie als Bürger zweiter Klasse zu behandeln. Ungebildete Frauen sind auch weniger geeignet, ihren Kindern ein anregendes Vorbild zu sein.
Sowohl Männer als auch Frauen sind in ihrer Partnerwahl in traditionellen Gesellschaften oft stark eingeschränkt, da es nur wenige Möglichkeiten gibt, Beziehungen und Kompatibilität vor der Ehe auszuloten. Außerdem ist es für sie oft schwierig, eine unglückliche Ehe zu verlassen.
Der Einfluss der traditionellen Geschlechterrollen auf die emotionale Gesundheit von Kindern
Children born into such marriages often witness exploitation, power games, emotional coldness, disrespect, and various forms of abuse. They are likely to model parts of those behaviors. Witnessing traditional gender roles, little girls are often taught that they cannot fulfill their dreams unless a man is willing to do so for them. Little boys are taught to be competitive, aggressive, and power-hungry to be able to support multiple people with their earnings. They might also learn that it’s normal that they have more freedom and less responsibilities than girls.
Furthermore, children are likely to take for granted the parent who is with them all the time (mother), while idealizing the parent who is absent or distant most of the time (father). They might resent the mother’s constant struggles to discipline them, while admiring the father’s financial power and independence. Since adult people see the world through the lens of what they experienced in their childhood, they are likely to project their feelings for their mother and father onto women and men in general.
In traditional patriarchal families, it’s also very common that a lonely, unfulfilled mother will turn to a son as a substitute partner (Emotionaler Inzest). The son may feel privileged, but in the same time pays a high price by losing his own identity and boundaries. Such a mother can be very jealous of her daughter in law, and may try to keep her son’s love for herself. She might also, sadly, project her own self-disdain and self-hate onto her own daughters and even granddaughters.
Wann können traditionelle Geschlechterrollen funktionieren?
Can traditional gender roles ever work to the benefit of all? I have seen it work well a few times, but more often, I have observed the negative outcomes described above. For such a relationship to succeed, the man must genuinely respect the woman’s work and consider it equally valuable as his own. The woman must genuinely enjoy housework and childcare and have few if any other ambitions. The man should feel good with the responsibility of being the sole provider. The woman must be okay with having no financial security of her own and relying on her partner for money. Both partners need to possess excellent communication skills and maintain these preferences over decades.
In modern society, the man also needs to have an above average income to be able to support both his wife and children on a single salary. Otherwise, women who are not satisfied with their husbands’ income may put pressure on them to earn more, which can become a source of continuous strife. Some men with low income can feel inadequate, or even unworthy of getting married if their salary is not high enough.
Auch wenn einige Familien mit gegenseitigem Respekt und echtem Einverständnis mit den traditionellen Geschlechterrollen erfolgreich sein können, sind sie eher die Ausnahme als die Regel. Meistens wird diese Dynamik zu einem Nährboden für Ressentiments, die überholte Geschlechternormen und erzwungene Abhängigkeit aufrechterhalten.
IMO sollten diejenigen, die versuchen, Frauen auf Hausarbeit und Kinderbetreuung zu beschränken, auch versuchen, Männer auf schwere körperliche Arbeit zu beschränken, so dass es zumindest Gleichheit in Bezug auf Frustration und unentwickeltes Potenzial gibt und alle glücklich und zufrieden in einer ewigen Steinzeit leben können.
Lesen Sie weiter:
Wer hat es schlimmer: Männer oder Frauen?
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