Question: I’m lonely and feel unattractive. I have difficulties connecting with people. How can I stop feeling that no one will ever love me?
Answer: Did you feel loved as a child? Our expectations of the world are based on our experiences with our parents. People who felt loved as children, usually expect to be loved as adults, too, and don’t get discouraged even if there is a period of loneliness in their life. People who weren’t loved enough or in a healthy way by their parents, expect a similar treatment by the rest of the world.
What we expect deep inside, we communicate non-verbally and people respond to that. People treat us the way we treat ourselves, and we treat ourselves the way our parents did. Of course, it can also be difficult to interact with other people in a confident and interested way, if you couldn’t feel safe to do it with your parents.
If you think physical looks are the problem, I know a number of people who are physically unattractive and believed that they’d never find partners, but when they worked on loving themselves anyway, and got busy making their lives happy rather than waiting for something to happen, they eventually found great partners. People respond to our character and how we feel, not how we look. At least people worth being with.
It might be worth taking a honest look at your non-verbal communication, how you interact with people and how you generally feel about people, to find out is there something about you others might find discouraging. Remember that people are most attracted to persons who show genuine interest in them. More on this topic in How To Overcome Social Rejection And Awkwardness.
We recommend our guided meditation “Heal Childhood Programming for Empowerment And Self-love” on this link. It’s designed to help you heal your past memories an adopt a healthier perception of yourself.
Read more:
Feeling Not Good Enough: How To Recognize And Heal It In Its Roots
Why Unattractive Women Usually Have Happier Marriages
Turn Emotional Pain Into Passion And Inspiration
