谁的情况更糟？男人还是女人？

This is, admittedly, a rather clickbaity title. But the article won’t disappoint. If nothing else, it’s easy to be aware of our own problems and not notice things other people face, and learning about them might help everybody be kinder to each other. For the purpose of this article, I’ll presume you live in a more or less secular and modern society. It would be easy to focus on the past, or on other areas in the world (even if 无间但是，举出极端的例子实际上会降低这里所讨论的论点的相关性。因此，仅从普通的现代世俗社会来看，我们可以注意到人们面临的以下问题（有时，我们只能通过身边人的经历才能注意到这些问题）：

妇女：物化

来自 电视节目, movies and advertisements, to modern “pick up artists”, women are commonly potrayed as sexual objects without much personality or intelligence, whose 外貌 is their most important attribute.  Boys and men are often in more or less subtle ways 鼓励 to perceive women and girls as less than complete personalities. For example, popular movies often send a message that no matter how immature or thoughtless the protagonist acts, he’ll get the girl he wants in the end. This attitude can create a lot of problems for both genders. 即使最近媒体鼓励男性也更加关注自己的外表（为了化妆品行业的利润），女性在社会关系的许多方面仍然面临着更严重的物化后果，这包括 影响他们的自尊心 负面评价：不仅是对其外貌的评论，更重要的是贬低其 劳动和智慧他们的工作、晋升机会减少，忽视了他们的 个性与选择, dismissing their opinions as “emotional”, to only mention a few.

男性：孤独、缺乏高质量的交流和情感支持

许多男人从小就被教育 抒情 和接受情感支持不够男人。不仅如此，人们还常常认为男人也不需要太多的情感支持。因此，男性可以发展并生活在某种 情感隔离甚至在 友好关系.  One of the consequences of this can be 更多问题 在处理 情绪危机.另一个可以是 缺乏沟通技巧 within close relationships, which, of course, can greatly influence the quality and longevity of such a relationship. It’s also important to notice that, while girls are more commonly taught to be responsible to others and control themselves, boys are more commonly 鼓励通过行动表达自己的情感而不首先承担责任，探索这些情绪是否健康和现实。对这些人和他们所处的环境来说，后果可能都很严重。

妇女：性暴力

如果女性害怕独自在黑暗中行走或独自旅行，有些男性可能会感到惊讶，但只有极少数女性从未经历过某种形式的恐惧。 性骚扰, and most experience it more than once (since early puberty or even before that, often by much older men). On top of that, sexual violence is “considered to be one of the most traumatic, pervasive, and most common human rights violations“. By the way, considering that most bullies are more likely to choose as their victim a physically smaller person who is less likely to attack them back, it would be logical that women would more often be the targets of petty crime, bullying, crazy neighbors and even fraud (construction workers apparently have a tradition of jacking up prices if they negotiate with a woman rather than a man, for example). But as statistics I can find don’t support this idea, it remains just a theory.

男子：男孩和男子之间的身体暴力

争夺身体优势是许多年轻人的现实，我的一些客户告诉我，他们往往不需要任何挑衅就会遭受暴力攻击。这对那些没有暴力倾向的年轻男子和男孩来说可能是个大问题。据统计，在家庭之外，男性更有可能 谋杀和人身伤害目标. As for what happens inside one’s own home…

妇女：被亲密伴侣或被拒绝的爱慕者虐待和谋杀的风险更高

虽然有关情感虐待的统计数字各不相同，但我们可以推测，男女两性都会受到情感虐待。 同样可能 大多数数据都表明，妇女遭受严重身体暴力或谋杀的可能性比男性高出数倍。 在婚姻或亲密关系中.我想很多女性都会同意 喜剧演员 who darkly jokes that just agreeing on a date is a brave thing to do for a woman. Also, while in modern societies a woman who rejects a man is very unlikely to be a target of such “endearing” reactions such as acid attacks, women are 3 times more likely to be the 跟踪对象 比男性多。

男性：对男性暴力受害者的羞辱和污名化

遭受身体暴力或性暴力侵害的男性，尤其是遭受女性暴力侵害的男性，不仅不太可能获得足够的帮助和支持，而且还往往 蒙羞 弱者。专门帮助受到情感或身体虐待的男性的组织少之又少。除此之外，这种暴力行为的实施者更有可能不会承担足够的后果。即使男性强奸受害者最常受到的伤害是 其他人, it’s quite possible for 女人强奸男人. This is more likely to happen in institutions such as prisons or army, when a woman has some sort of power over the man, or in cases when a man is drunk, drugged or otherwise incapacitated. Some men who were raped by women report they were afraid to physically defend themselves so that they wouldn’t be 被控犯有 暴力。强奸也可能是勒索或威胁的结果，不一定是身体暴力。被女人强奸的男人通常会受到更严重的伤害 散笑 than a female rape victim, because of common myths that a) a man cannot have an erection if he doesn’t want it, and b) men always want want sex anyway. Things get particularly dark if a woman rapist ends up pregnant as a result of the rape she committed and decides to give birth – her victim will not only suffer psychological trauma, but can be forced to pay alimony for the child conceived this way.

女性：意外怀孕（甚至是希望怀孕）会带来更大的风险和后果

如果是意外怀孕，无论出于什么原因都不能选择堕胎，即使父亲和母亲在一起，母亲通常也不得不放弃一个孩子。 她的能量、自由和商业成功的巨大部分 在接下来的许多年里。如果父亲抛弃了母亲，她的处境就会特别困难：单亲母亲是最容易受到伤害的人群之一。 贫困风险压力和社会耻辱。单身父亲通常被认为是勇敢和无私的，而单身母亲通常被认为是自己错误决定的受害者。有孩子的妇女找到新伴侣的可能性也比没有孩子的妇女小得多。总之，她将面临 15-20 年甚至更长时间的沉重的自我牺牲。

男性：在离婚和争夺监护权时经常受到歧视

即使官方消息来源否认这一点，离婚男子也经常报告自己 歧视 根据其 父母权利 和对子女的监护权。儿童 对男性作为合格父母的偏见 are still strong, as is the attitude that a mother is the primary parent – even in the cases where the mother is objectively far less able to be a good parent than the father. Such prejudice not only harms fathers, but can seriously harm children, too. Men also often report that in court cases of divorce, a woman is more likely to be trusted without adequate proof if she tries to paint her (ex) husband in a bad light.

妇女：工作、家务和家庭琐事的双重负担

In spite of women being present on job market for decades by now, they are still often expected to do a lion’s share of housekeeping chores and child care – 即使女方工作而男方失业. A woman’s unhappiness with such a lack of balance doesn’t change much. Even if I had a chance to meet couples where it was the opposite, many men still feel that sharing domestic chores is “not manly”. Also, many men are simply not taught to consider all the details such chores entail. Therefore it’s not surprising that studies usually show that  女性承受的日常压力更大 他们比男人 已婚妇女压力更大 比单身妇女多。虽然婚姻会对伴侣双方的健康产生积极影响，但是 对男性的益处 are reportedly 5 times bigger than for women in terms of prolonging life expectancy.

男性：经济压力更大，职业选择更少

The myth that “a man earns, a woman spends” is still common in some places. Such a myth harms both genders; women who believe it might feel dependent of men and put pressure on them to earn more, while some men might believe they don’t deserve a relationship with a woman if they are not rich enough to afford anything she might want. The consequences are predictable and far-reaching. Also, while it’s usually acceptable for a woman to choose a traditionally male profession (even if she is likely to experience prejudice and discrimination), men might still be ridiculed if they choose a profession traditionally labeled as feminine.

妇女：月经、怀孕、分娩、母乳喂养

除了上述工作量、社会和经济负担及压力之外，人类生殖还消耗妇女的体力，甚至危及 她们的生命。即使不引起经前综合症和痉挛，月经也会让人感到沮丧，许多妇女每个月都有几天是在疼痛或至少是身体不适中度过的。 怀孕, 分娩 和 母乳喂养 each bring their own problems (even when there are no complications involved) and possible dangers. The old saying, “产妇的坟墓要开放40天” did not appear by accident.

男性：身体受伤和死亡的风险更大

Whether we are talking about heavy physical jobs that include a risk of serious injury, or joining the army and going off to wars, men are the ones who are expected to do this, whether they want it or not, while women who choose such activities are usually there voluntarily. As for war, there are some men who actively seek and desire such kind of risk and adrenaline rush, but the majority, I believe, are pressured into the army by life circumstances, without wanting it. Yet they might lose their lives – or their peace of mind for the rest of their lives. Let’s just add that on top of everything mentioned above, people of both genders can also suffer from family trauma, mental disorders, anxiety, depression, lack of self-esteem, health issues and who knows what other problems. So, who has it worse? Anybody, depending of the circumstances. In the end, the problem is not men vs. women. 真正的问题在于鼓励自私、剥削和无视其他观点的文化。 As long as a culture tells its people it’s ok or even desirable to be socially irresponsible and fight for power and status, injustice and blind power struggles will persist. So, rather than wasting time on one-upmanship in suffering, better to invest it into something more useful. Say, 蚊子滋生.明智选择。 相关文章 性话题 给希望被认真对待的女性的建议 政治正确的精华与糟粕 所有文章  在线辅导