Most of us are conditioned in more ways than one to feel less satisfaction than we could. Evolution has largely shaped us to focus on looking for and noticing danger, even when we’re doing well. Not only that, but as soon as we achieve something we want, biology also conditions us to soon stop noticing it, so that our mental capacities can be focused on searching and learning new things. This is the reason that we easily take not only things, but also important relationships in our life for granted (until we lose them).
The family models in which we learn to think and behave are often focused on criticism, fear and expectations, and rarely on recognizing the good. It’s no wonder that, even in modern civilization where we live more safely and comfortably than our ancestors could have dreamed of, most people are still unhappy and stressed. Of course, modern civilization and technology also bring modern problems such as lack of time, loneliness and problems with concentration. However, it is often self-imposed and nowhere near as dangerous as all the hardships that previous generations had to deal with.
If you try to consciously focus on enjoying what you already have, you’ll probably soon forget about it, and it can be hard to hold on to that feeling for more than a few minutes. However, there is one small addition to that attitude that can have a far greater effect, and that is an attitude of gratitude.
It’s hard for me to clearly describe why gratitude makes such a difference compared to “ordinary” awareness. But the difference is big, not only in the intensity, but also in the duration of the satisfaction that gratitude brings. Is it in a greater sense of 联系 与我们之外的东西？感恩是否会在某种程度上增加 认知价值 of what we focus on? Or does gratitude help us recognize how easily it could have happened that we didn’t receive all that we have? It’s hard to say for sure, but science, for example in 本研究研究还开始发现，感恩不仅能给健康人带来长期益处，也能给有心理健康问题的人带来长期益处。
Gratitude doesn’t have to be related to religion, or even spirituality, if that doesn’t appeal to you. It is not necessary to direct gratitude towards anyone or anything in particular. Even an abstract attitude of gratitude is enough to trigger a significant change in perception. If you still want to be grateful to someone or something, and you are not attracted to religion, you can direct your gratitude towards your ancestors who worked hard to ensure a better life for their descendants, most of whom they will never meet. You can be grateful to scientists and fighters for human rights, to all those who dedicatedly worked to make the whole world better. But even that is not necessary for you to be able to feel the benefits of gratitude.
(有些人可能在感恩方面有问题，他们可能会说感恩会让他们产生负罪感，或者觉得自己不配拥有幸福）。重要的是要认识到这不是一种健康自然的感觉，但在这种情况下，你可能是在父母至少有一方责怪你、扮演受害者或对履行养育责任持买卖态度的家庭中长大的。解决并治愈这些情绪，你就能体验到健康感恩的益处（healthy gratitude)。
Even when we practice gratitude, we can easily forget and take many things for granted, especially if we were born in a time of their easy availability. So, here’s a list of ideas you can be thankful for, so you can expand that feeling even more:
- 良好的人际关系 After basic security, nothing is as important to the quality of life as good relationships. No amount of things or money can compensate for the emotional fulfillment we get from feeling a warm connection with other people. Remember, with an attitude of gratitude, all the relationships in your life – you can even include past ones – that have enriched your life.
2. 食物和饮用水。 只是在最近几代人的努力下，这才成为世界上大部分人认为理所当然的事情。
3. 和平.人类历史上的长期和平与其说是常规，不如说是例外。没有战争本身就值得庆幸。
4. 人权。 在历史上的大部分时期，特权阶层为所欲为，而弱势群体只是在例外情况下很少受到任何保护。尽管现代法律体系可能并不完善，但它仍然为我们提供了前所未有的安全感。
5. 电力和家用电器。 你能想象平时用电和电器做的所有事情都要用手来完成吗？我们有时会用不上电，这种情况越来越罕见，但只有在这种情况发生时，我们才会意识到我们是多么依赖电力。
6. 计算机和互联网 当然，它们可能被用在肤浅或有毒的方面，但每个人都可以选择。不过，有了它们，很多事情对我们来说都变得更容易了。
7. 教育.在几代人之前，这主要是富人或神职人员的特权。
8. 音乐、电影、书籍 以及其他形式的娱乐，尽在指尖。
9. 汽车或您使用的任何交通工具。 即使在一百年前，也主要是马。
10. 现代医学。 即使是奥地利女皇玛丽亚-特蕾莎（Maria Theresa）所生的 16 个孩子中，也有 6 个活不到成年。据估计，在我们有数据可查的那段历史中，其余人口在成年前死亡的平均比例为 50%。那些能活到成年的孩子仍然不可能比较容易地活到老年。
11. 服装.直到最近，大多数人都有几件日常服装和一套不错的正装。如今，我们购买服装是为了消遣。
12. 为你遮风挡雨.即使它不尽如人意，至少也能给你带来安全感和舒适感。
13. 工作 I know not everyone is happy with their job, but if you are among those who are, that’s a huge reason to be happy. Even if you are not completely satisfied, check if there is at least something in your job that you can be grateful for. Maybe you have good colleagues, or you like some parts of the job? If nothing else, a job at least provides you with income for much of the above.
14. 避孕。 If you’re a woman, reliable contraception has made it possible not only to plan your family, but has also made employers more willing to hire you, which means you’re less likely to be dependent on others and perhaps stuck in a toxic relationship. (Of course, it’s much easier to be self-employed, too, if you are not likely to get unpredictably pregnant.) If you are a man, you also have a wide range of benefits from family planning options. Even children benefit from contraception, in the sense that they are much more likely to be desired and expected, so their parents will raise them better and devote time to them. Contraception has truly changed the quality of both society and upbringing for the better!
我希望，有了这样的观点，你就能对现代社会中困扰我们的问题和挫折有所平衡，并希望今后即使没有什么特别的事情发生，你也能更容易找到满意的理由。如果你想在生活中获得更多快乐，那就制定一个行动计划，建立并维护高质量的人际关系！下面推荐的文章将为您提供帮助。
更多信息
简体中文 
English 
Deutsch (Sie) 
العربية 
Español 
Français 
हिन्दी 
Italiano 
日本語 
Українська 
Русский 
Polski