改变有毒习惯的 11 个技巧

How many times did you make such a decision: starting tomorrow, I will quit smoking, biting my nails, overeating, drinking coffee… or: I will start exercising, watch less television, be more organized… Typically, 这些决定似乎很容易付诸实施当然，从明天开始，只需要一点点努力和关注。

明天来临，我们开始对自己的决定产生越来越强烈的抵触情绪。延续旧习惯让人感觉舒适无害，而新习惯则让人感觉不愉快、困难或无聊。你的身体开始发出信号，告诉你缺少了什么，并且 你的大脑容易为自己找借口: just a little bit… it’s not THAT harmful, really… today can be the last day… I guess my body needs it when I feel such an urge for it…other people do it and it doesn’t seem to hurt them that much…I need some pleasure in my life… and you yield almost without noticing. 
我们迟早会在牙缝中发现自己的指甲，或者在手里发现一块饼干，或者打开一款早已不再有趣的电子游戏。 

有毒习惯和控制情绪

理性的决定和意志力很少足以让我们坚持自己的决定，除非问题相对简单，而且是最近才产生的。如果你曾多次试图戒掉一个坏习惯，但都没有成功，那么很可能是你的某个坏习惯在作祟。 更深层次的潜意识动机 这种需求需要通过某种方式表现出来。就像我们试图压抑情绪一样，这种需求会造成越来越强的身体和精神压力，直到它们最终突破。然后，我们可能会重拾旧习，或者养成新的习惯作为替代。(例如，请记住有多少人戒烟后却开始暴饮暴食）。如果我们成功地避免了这一切，我们无意识的需求可能会通过自我侵犯表现出来，即引起一种心身疾病。

许多习惯，就像大多数成瘾一样，被用作 一种控制情绪的方式是否 抑制不愉快的情绪，或创造愉快的情绪. Notice, after you spend some time fighting the urge to continue with a toxic habit, do you start to experience emotions like anger, nervousness, anxiety, depression? Or maybe something is missing – pleasure, excitement, comfort, fun, relaxation, feeling of achievement (like with video games)?

要想改掉坏习惯，首先需要化解这些情绪，或者找到另一种更健康的方式让自己感觉更好。第一步，当你有重拾坏习惯的冲动时，不要试图理性地控制它，而是闭上眼睛，然后 关注你的情绪.也许你的某些部分需要一些关注和安慰，或者有一些长期的情绪需要解决？或者你需要投入一些时间和精力来 学会创造好心情 你想要什么？

有什么好处？

除了特定的问题情绪，可能还有其他无意识的冲动或利益需要解决。想想看，你的毒瘾可能会给你带来什么好处，而这些好处可能并不明显和有意识？也许你试图 分散注意力 以避免面对具体的挑战或不愉快的任务？或者您是否 自罚 是因为压抑的负罪感或自我憎恨？(例如，厌食症和贪食症就很常见）。 控制幻觉否则，你会感到失落和不安全吗？也许有一种 对积极变化的恐惧: what if you lose current friends (or even intimate partner) who share your habit, what if you attract unwanted attention or envy… You will need to learn how to face such issues, or how to achieve those benefits in a different way.

有毒的习惯可能是家庭传统的一部分，也是我们与某个或某些家庭成员感到亲近的方式. This is something that people rarely consider. Sometimes you might feel an unconscious need to understand a family member better, or to express loyalty. Or perhaps, along with “inherited” anxiety, anger etc. we have accepted the traditional family ways of suppressing those feelings? Or do you maybe express some feelings that your parents were suppressing, like sexuality or anger? That might be the cause of obsessive behavior, for example internet porn addiction (although not necessarily the only cause).

All these emotional elements of the issue are the reason why the attempts to change a toxic habit rationally are often in vain. Many people hope that somebody or something else – a pill, or tea, or positive suggestions – can solve their problem. However, 原因不解决，结果将是短期的 这样的人很快就会重拾不良习惯，或者情绪冲动会以其他方式表现出来（通过制造其他问题）。唯一长远的解决办法就是解决问题的根源。

生理方面

在你面对并解决了坏习惯的情绪方面问题后，你还需要解决生理方面的问题。这可能是一种化学成瘾，如吸烟或垃圾食品，也可能是一种 重复行为造成的神经自动症.一旦形成了自动化，你的神经系统就会为了保存能量而试图让它继续下去，因此它可能会破坏你创造新习惯的意图。你可能会觉得自己像在逆流而上，或者你可能会发现自己的身体几乎是在无意识的情况下开始按照旧有的习惯运动。

Physiological aspects of a toxic habit might take less time to resolve, but sometimes might be more intense, like the effects of detoxification. It’s often more difficult to find even short-term relief for physiological than emotional component of a bad habit. Here is some advice to help you “fool your brain” and motivate yourself.

技巧和窍门

Write these tips down and keep them in an easily accessible place (or several places), where you can be easily reminded of them. It’s important to take time, close your eyes and 每当你有一种想遵循自己的借口和自动行为的冲动时，检查一下自己的感觉.你可能会想出一些自己的有用窍门，为了帮助你入门，我建议如下：

1) 用 “carrot/stick system”.想象一下，如果你成功了，你会得到什么好处和好心情；如果你屈服于诱惑，你会有什么不舒服的感觉和后果。想象 长期后果 – they are usually much more obvious. Imagine the feelings and consequences intensely, even 渲染 如果有必要。

2) 想象一下，你的坏习惯会给你的生活带来什么影响？ 影响对你很重要的人.如果你怀孕了或身边有一个小孩，你会吸烟吗？如果你知道你的孩子会模仿你的行为，你还会暴饮暴食或拖延时间吗？通常，我们觉得避免伤害他人比伤害自己更有动力。

3) 过于仓促或长期的目标可能会产生更强烈的挫败感。取而代之的是 小步快跑. You might say to yourself: wait 15 minutes… and another 15… and again… then another day, and another… Such small steps are much more acceptable to our brain than a vision of multiple months and years without something we like and yearn for. 

4) Notice if you’re the type of person who finds it easier to quit a habit immediately and completely, or gradually. Some people might be satisfied enough with, for example, only a little piece of chocolate of a few smokes, while others will be led into overcompensating if they yield even a little. 注意适合你的方法。

5) Notice if you actually enjoy your toxic habits? Many people say: actually I don’t like cigarettes or cookies that much after the first few smokes or bites, but once I start, I feel I have to finish it. Perhaps your mind habitually expects more pleasure from that behavior/ substance than it actually gets? Before you decide to indulge yourself, remember that you might experience much 欲速则不达. 

6) Don’t only focus on avoiding something; 找到你能做的事! You need something to fill the void, otherwise the frustration will be much stronger. Can you, perhaps, drink tea instead of coffee, unsweetened fruit smoothie instead of ice-cream, chew gum instead of cigarettes or food, dance to your favorite music instead of starting a video game… these are some of the ways you might be able to calm your body down. What is important is not to use some new toxic habit in place of the old one. 

7) 想象你已经完成了你想做的事: drank your coffee, smoked your cigarette, bitten off your nails… Notice if that decreases your tension and motivation to do this, or maybe even increases. If it helps, use it. If it only serves to increase temptation, avoid it. On the other hand, try to focus on experiencing and 增强你在新的健康生活习惯中找到的乐趣. 

8) 公开宣布你的目标当着尽可能多的家人、朋友和熟人的面，尽可能多地表达自己的想法。保持他们对你好感的动机可能比诱惑更强烈。 

9) 写日记 and write down your daily efforts and success (or lack of it). That motivates us in a similar way as the previous tip, and it might also help you become conscious of all those moments classified as “this doesn’t count”. 

10) 意识到自己最喜欢的借口 (just a little bit, it won’t hurt me, I deserved it after a hard work’s day…) and notice the moments when you start using them. Maybe it often happens in the similar time of day, or when you’re upset and stressed, or when you feel physiological need…? 大声说出来在此基础上，你会更加有意识地去注意这些借口。考虑如何提前为这些借口做好准备，并认识到它们是一种诱惑。 

11)阅读能激励自己、增强自信心的书籍、文章或网页。有些人认为 others’ words and experiences more trustworthy than their own – if this is true for you, use others’ words to motivate yourself!

请记住，您将经历 万事开头难特别是考虑到生理习惯或成瘾。不过，两三周后，你可能已经感觉好多了。几个月后，你可能会发现很难想象自己会重拾旧习。

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