意识的量子飞跃

爱因斯坦有一句名言：我们不能用制造问题时的思维水平来解决问题。这句话尤其适用于 情绪问题 和生活状况。

我们经常会发现自己陷入了一个令人失望的情绪和想法的怪圈中，专注于试图改变外部环境或其他人。即使做出了理性的决定，我们也可能会拖延或遭受 内心冲突这很可能会破坏行动。

在这种内心冲突中，你的每一种冲动、情绪和想法都包含着一些真相和一些健康合理的愿望，但它们 无法涵盖更广泛的视角.在我们最终解决限制性信念和情绪之前，这些冲动都会 准确无误 和现实。当我们治愈了自身的局限，尤其重要的是，当我们整合了失去和遗忘的品质之后，我们就能理解禅宗的一句话： 物极必反.我们可以用以下方法来看待有问题的情况 深入了解和洞察，更重要的是，没有情感限制。那一刻 解决之道昭然若揭就像我们观察人们与自己的问题搏斗一样。

For example, imagine being unsatisfied with the quality of your intimate relationship. Maybe there is an ongoing battle inside you between anger, love, defiance, fear… You might have thoughts like: ‘but he is better than many others…. better to be with him than to be alone… but I do not feel valued or recognized as much as I desire… but sometimes he is very caring… what if I wouldn’t be able to find another relationship… but still I desire much more than this relationship can give me…’

试图改变他人或外部环境，或 做出理性的决定，将毫无意义 在这种情况下。即使我们成功了（通常只是暂时的），问题的根源仍未解决，情绪仍未痊愈，我们失去的部分仍无法触及，我们很快就会产生，或者会被 情投意合直到我们最终决定审视内心，开始解决问题的原因。

内部分裂与整合

创伤经历和有毒关系会 割裂我们的个性.我们可能会用限制性信念取代部分身份认同，从而失去自尊等品质。我们可能会压抑其他仍不成熟的部分（不恰当的情感），而其他人则会制造补偿性面具（如攻击性、扮演受害者）。有时，即使是积极的品质也会被这样利用，比如明显的知识分子气质、性情或幽默。

在我们解决了限制性信念之后, we can integrate, for example, lost self-esteem, optimism or joy. Only then it may become obvious, depending upon the situation, that we were, for example, reacting strongly to details that we could have resolved through honest, calm conversation. Perhaps we neglected ourselves out of fear that we did not deserve what we wanted, or that we could not find anything better. Maybe we understood it rationally a while ago, but similarly – as when one tries to guide a friend towards a rational and positive solution to their problem – the same emotions and fears would reemerge that kept us back.

试图 理智与情感的选择在一种情绪和另一种情绪之间的冲突会让人抓狂。这种冲突会一直持续下去，直到我们达到一种融合的程度，使我们的感受和行动都能在 新的成熟和健康水平.这确实是意识上的一次飞跃。

It is easy to neglect our own contribution to the problem, to follow immature emotions, which in such moments seem very realistic, and put off their resolution “for later”. Procrastinating like that, we can spend 在不必要的挫折中度过几年或几十年, instead of utilizing that time improving ourselves and creating a happy and healthy life. When I think about the improvement I achieved in the past 10 to 15 years, compared to my starting position, I am impressed – and sometimes I wonder where I would have been now if I had not spent years in procrastination and inadequate efforts.

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