Превратите эмоциональную боль в страсть и вдохновение

Физическая боль - это сигнал о том, что что-то не так. Наша автоматическая реакция - уменьшить ее как можно скорее. Логично, что и на эмоциональную боль мы реагируем так же.

Кроме того, общество и культура приучили нас избегать неприятных эмоций, скрывать их и подавлять. Мы часто воспринимаем их как слабость, как сигнал о бессилии и неудаче. Но что если эмоциональная боль может научить нас большему и вдохновить нас больше всего?

Emotional pain is often a signal that we are limiting ourselves, that we don’t follow our potential and our ideals, that there is something deep and vitally important from which we have distanced ourselves, or against which we have built internal walls. Эмоциональная боль побуждает нас к переменам.

If you pay attention to what your pain is telling you, if you are willing to hear not only what is wrong or missing, but also what choices are possible – if you are ready to drop your internal self-censorship and mental barriers – you’ll probably find that your pain wants to show you possibilities you didn’t think of, or rejected as too challenging and not safe enough.

It doesn’t necessarily mean (but it might) that you need to make dramatic changes in your life and start something completely different. Maybe your pain will simply tell you that you need more authenticity and deep honesty in life, more fulfilling relationships with others, or what would make you feel more alive and bring more meaning into your life.

For various reasons – tradition, habits, religion, security, control – our communities teach us quite early in life to suppress our authenticity and passion. Pain reminds us of what we forgot, of deeper needs we learned to drown in distractions. Ignoring pain (out of habit, fear of change or self-doubt) can keep people not only in shallow existence, but even in abusive relationships sometimes.

Two among the biggest religions/philosophies in the world (Hinduism and Buddhism) in essence focus on escaping and reducing suffering as their end goal. Another one – Christianity – teaches people to meekly accept suffering as a way to earn presumed reward in the afterlife. In the last few decades, the philosophy of “positive thinking” urges us to ignore, avoid or cut off all unpleasant thoughts and feelings. Can you imagine how different the world would be if all those philosophies taught us to Извлеките лучшее из болиИспользуя его для подпитки мотивации и творчества?

Цель эмоциональных страданий - пробудить нас и побудить к действию.. Once you are aware of this, it might seem insane how most people do whatever they can to suppress, avoid and ignore emotional pain. It’s normal to prefer happiness over pain. But we can’t live true fulfillment and wealth of experience if we close ourselves from the whole range of honest emotions and ignore what they try to teach us.

Боль, по сути, говорит нам, что перемены, которых мы хотим, наше глубочайшее желание, гораздо важнее всех оправданий, страхов и стен. we use to keep the status quo. Pain tries to motivate us to accept the challenge, to come out of the familiar into something new, to “stretch ourselves” further than we thought we could. Doesn’t it sound like a much richer, more meaningful life than just searching for fun and pleasure?

Don’t seek happiness, seek intensity!

Я люблю говорить себе, что Любой опыт лучше, чем отсутствие опыта. Такое отношение требует принятия возможности испытывать разочарование и всевозможный дискомфорт в новых ситуациях. Это, в свою очередь, требует от вас подружиться со всеми своими эмоциями, признать, что даже неприятные эмоции возникают не для того, чтобы причинить вам боль, а для того, чтобы улучшить вашу жизнь.

Есть что-то глубоко освобождающее и вдохновляющее в том, чтобы сознательно подвергать себя потенциальному дискомфорту. Не из мазохизма и стремления к боли, а как способ узнать больше о том, кто вы есть и на что способны, и в конечном итоге построить такие отношения с самим собой, которые не сможет разрушить ничто, что может бросить в вас мир.

When I look back in my life, I can see how some painful periods pushed me forward and motivated me to do more and go further than I otherwise would. Also, this happened just about every time when I allowed happiness to lull me into comfortable routine, into slowing down and diminishing my expectations of myself. Recognizing that, I decided to never in the future allow myself to become complacent when I’m happy, but to keep straining my mind and seeking new challenges.

I believe that even the worst experiences in life can make you more thoughtful, more compassionate, more connected to what is really important in life, more intensely motivated and ultimately lead you to live a far richer life internally, than the life of content complacency.  And who knows, perhaps if you pay attention and learn your lessons intensely from small crises, you might not need bigger drama in your life.

I’ve been writing before about how important it is to прислушивайтесь к нашим эмоциям и к посланиям, которые дают нам печаль, тоска и разочарование, а также о том, как Детям тоже нужны испытания rather than protectiveness. Yet I still spent many years thinking of emotional pain more as an anomaly than an important catalyst in life. In my work, I used to focus on resolving emotional pain from childhood and turning it into pleasant emotions. Now I think it’s much more important to turn it into motivation and passion.

In Western civilization, people with schizophrenia who “hear voices” in their minds, usually hear unpleasant, frightening or malicious messages. Did you know that in countries where “hearing voices” is considered holy rather than a frightening disease, such people much more often hear uplifting, encouraging, positive messages? Makes you stop and think a bit, at least I’d hope so. I find it’s usually very similar with less pleasant emotions: the less we see them as “negative” and wrong, the more empowering and inspiring they can be.

Once you allow pain to crush and strip away all inner rigidity, self-deceit and societal lies, all excuses and fears, you are left with who you truly are and what is truly important. It’s the end of “the long dark night of the soul”. You come out strong, full of purpose and passionately alive. The word “happiness” loses its meaning compared to this state. Will you get there? You have a choice, every minute of every day.

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