Sometimes people ask me if it’s OK for them or their partner to stay in touch with an ex after starting a new relationship. If you have been reading my posts and articles for a while, you will know that I avoid categorical judgments about “right” and “wrong”, except when it comes to abuse and malicious crime. I believe in judging each situation individually and in seeing different perspectives. However, there are some thoughts I will offer on this topic:
元パートナーや配偶者と長期にわたって友好的な関係を保ち、それが新しい関係に悪い影響を与えない人を私は知っている。しかし、激しい感情、特に熱愛や恋愛のような長期にわたる感情は、新しい人間関係に悪影響を及ぼすと思う。 習慣と同じように、私たちの脳内の神経経路.一度覚えた習慣は、特に希望や夢、思い出と結びつけば、簡単に学び直すことができる。何十年もの別離の後に再会したカップルの話はたくさんある。
重要なのは、次のようなことだ。 if a relationship came to its “natural ending”, or was it interrupted and left unfinished?長い時間をかけて離れ離れになり、冷め、幻想を失い、おそらく失望した後に終わったのなら、人は通常、物語が本当に終わったと感じ、振り返ることなく新しい関係に集中することができる。
However, if a relationship ended abruptly, if there is a feeling that things were somehow left unfinished, especially if two people were separated by external circumstances, then old hopes, dreams and illusions can wake up rather easily. It’s easy to idealize one’s past, even if it was everything but ideal. In such a case, I wouldn’t recommend to stay in touch with an ex or to initiate contact, especially if the new relationship is happy and healthy.
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