ミスを恐れる気持ちを克服する方法

間違いは学ぶための最良の方法

多くの親は子供に間違いを犯すことへの恐れを植え付ける。しかし、間違いは普通のことであるばかりでなく、必要なことでもある。必要なだけでなく、望ましいことでさえある。なぜ望ましいのか？それは 最良かつ最速の学習方法である。 Can you imagine a person who never makes mistakes? How is it possible for such a person to ever learn anything? They are more likely to avoid new experiences and confine themselves to routine, robotic behaviors.

Educators, and hopefully parents, are aware that children (and adults) learn the most from experience, not from theories and words. As a rule, this experience is based on many mistakes. このようなミスのひとつひとつが、私たちの心をより高いギアに切り替えるよう促す。 意識的にだけでなく、無意識のうちに私たちは学んでいる。 なぜ 例えば、私たちがその結果に気づいていなかった場合）、 どのように そのエラーの原因（考え方なのか、認識の間違いなのか、物理的な行動なのか）と、今後このエラーの可能性を減らすにはどうすればいいのか。

このように、 失敗を重ねれば重ねるほど、自信を持てるようになる, since it is from these mistakes that we learn how to avoid them and how to improve. Children who haven’t been allowed to make mistakes don’t have the opportunity to develop such confidence, so they can feel blocked and insecure all their lives. It’s frustrating how many parents don’t seem to understand something so simple and logical.

教育と社会

Many parents act as though forbidding mistakes will enable their children to be perfect, while in reality the opposite is true. Whenever we learn something new and complicated, we must repeat some mistakes, but some parents seem to attribute repeated children’s mistakes to bad intentions or even stupidity. They may not really mean it, they may just repeat what they have heard from their own parents, but children don’t know that and such parental comments can easily take roots in their minds.

加えて、多くの親は子どものミスを批判するが、子どもに説明することはほとんどない。 代わりに何をするか. Children can then feel lost and insecure – they feel they need to come to a solution as soon as possible, but they have no experience to do it. Adult people may feel such childhood feelings emerging in new situations they lack experience with. Instead of recognizing that they need to create experience through mistakes, they may expect themselves to know everything at once, while at the same time knowing it is impossible. The stress this creates can further block them from using their adult resources.

このような間違いに対する態度は、しばしば家庭から社会へと広がっていく。そのため、子供たちは互いにけなされ、しばしば教師からもけなされる。 project intolerance of one’s own mistakes and self-批評. When working with US clients, I often hear that some segments of US society are particularly intolerant and insensitive when it comes to (someone else’s) mistakes, such as wrong choice of partners, reckless or inexperienced young people’s decisions, financial decisions that prove wrong, all of which is often attributed to irresponsibility and bad character. Even if the consequences of such a mistake are much more painful than one deserves, it is not uncommon in US society for such a person to be further trodden down and disproportionately punished. This seems to be a consequence of the Puritan religion, which spread into the mainstream culture.

しかし、世界のほとんどの地域では、大人とまではいかなくても、少なくとも子供がそうであることはごく普通のことなのだ。 不釣り合いな処罰 and disproportionately criticized for unintentional and petty mistakes. In this way, parents strive to make their lives easier and to ensure that children learn to control themselves as soon as possible. In doing so, however, they do long-term damage to both the child’s self-esteem and his or her own relationship with the child.

社内のサポートをいかに発展させるか

Perhaps you have learned to expect punishment, unpleasant results and unpleasant reactions by people around you as soon as you make even a small step outside of the familiar. It’s true that some people will try to control you or boost their own ego in such a way. If this is what was normal in your childhood, your mind can be focused on that and ignore or dismiss the more positive experiences. Yet if you allow yourself to acknowledge these, too, you might be pleasantly surprised by the number of people who will be sympathetic, tolerant or at least neutral to your imperfections. Most people are aware that most mistakes are done without bad intentions. Invest effort into training your brain to notice such people and acknowledge them, while ignoring the others.

決断を下す際には、潜在意識に蓄えられている膨大な情報に耳を傾け、それを頼りにすることを学ぼう。記事 子どもたちに直観力を身につけさせる方法 大人にも有効だ。直感や内なる声を信じないように、親にしつけられたのかもしれないが、勇気と練習があれば、これも変えることができる。

ミスをする可能性について考えるとき、どんな考えやイメージが自然に出てきますか？支持的で思いやりのある考えか、それとも自己批判、軽蔑、怒り、嘲笑、周囲からの拒絶の心象か。多くの人にとって、後者が普通であり、それは子供時代や育てられ方に由来する。

For the childish parts of our subconscious minds, parents are still the supreme authority, even when we grow up, so it can be difficult to “erase” their images and voices from our heads. But with effort and perseverance, it is possible. First and foremost, practice making conscious 内的対話の変化 間違いは正常であるだけでなく、役に立つものであり、学ぶための最良の方法なのだ。親が潜在意識に重要な影響を与えるからだ。

When I work with clients, I pay a lot of attention to healing relationships with their parents. Part of this is to recognize that parents (as a rule) did not want you to develop toxic beliefs about yourself, but simply did not know better and repeated the parenting strategies to which they were exposed. Then you might consider how parents really wanted you to feel about your mistakes – usually, they simply wanted you to pay attention, to remember; not to sabotage, insult or demean yourself. If you can imagine your 失敗しても支えてくれる両親これが潜在意識をプログラムし直す最善の方法です。そして、そのために助けが必要なら、私たちはここにいます。