黒魔術か、子供時代のプログラミングか？

In a public talk I gave some years ago, a man from the audience asked if I believed in black magic. He explained that, no matter what he did, things just didn’t work out in his life, so he suspected some external malevolent influence at work. He wasn’t the only one to ask me that; others have posed the same question in private sessions over the years.

Black magic doesn’t make sense to me from either a logical or spiritual perspective. However, something else does: deeply hidden childhood programming or family trauma. Let’s elaborate.

It’s obvious why black magic has no foundation in rational thought. There’s no logical reason why it would work. Even from a spiritual viewpoint, what sense would it make if somebody could so easily override our free will? If any decision we made or spiritual path we were on could be so easily destroyed by some random malicious person’s weird ritual, it would render our autonomy meaningless. I simply don’t see how or why this could be possible.

ノセボ効果

There are some cases where black magic can appear to cause real harm—when the affected person knows it was done and believes in it. This doesn’t mean black magic works directly; it works through suggestion. If someone believes in black magic, they may suffer from the so-called “nocebo effect.” The nocebo effect is the opposite of the placebo effect: it occurs when negative expectations cause harmful effects on one’s health. People have even died because they believed they were cursed to die. Similarly, a person incorrectly diagnosed with a terminal illness may experience real physical symptoms, and sometimes even die, from the stress of that false diagnosis. Such is the power of the unconscious mind.

What if someone believes they’ve been cursed due to recurring problems and misfortunes in their life, particularly if such issues could be related to self-sabotage or unconscious choices? While there’s no universal answer, if someone like this is my client and we focus on exploring what’s going on internally, we often uncover hidden toxic relationship bonds, family trauma, or family secrets.

有害な関係の絆

私たちの仕事では、有害な人間関係の絆とは、私たちが子どもの頃に不健康な家族とつながり続けるために採用した信念、感情、行動、価値観のことを指す。幼い子どもは一人では生きていけないため、養育者を信頼し、従い、順応しようとする本能を深く持っている。

When a parent or other primary caregiver behaves harmfully, children must find ways to keep trusting that person, often leading to self-blame and various toxic beliefs. These children might internalize beliefs like “Something is wrong with me,” “If I relax and have fun, something bad will happen,” or “My needs aren’t important.”

As we grow, certain parts of our brains develop and become more complex, but not all. New knowledge and experiences don’t always reach the parts where our early imprints are stored. Consequently, even as adults, parts of our brains feel as if we still depend on our caregivers for survival. While these imprints may not affect our everyday lives, they might be triggered if someone reminds us of our parents—or if we try to deviate from childhood survival strategies.

For instance, you might fear punishment if you’re too successful, causing you to unconsciously “shoot yourself in the foot.” You might feel guilt if you’re happier than your parents or siblings, leading you to sabotage your own happiness. Or, you may feel that nothing you do is good enough, attracting people and situations that reinforce this belief. The more these patterns repeat, the more it can feel like some kind of black magic is at work. Outwardly, you’re struggling to find happiness—but the underlying issues remain unconscious.

Some people may have worked hard on their emotional and relational health, yet old patterns of self-sabotage persist. This is usually due to “taboo” relationship bonds, formed so early that they’re woven into our identity and sense of survival. Since changing such bonds can feel like a threat to our safety and sense of self, we may experience strong unconscious resistance to recognizing or altering them.

先祖代々のトラウマ

家族力学に携わる私たちは、前の世代におけるトラウマが子孫に感情的な影響を与えることを以前から知っていた。科学は現在、次のようなことを示唆し始めている。 It Didn’t Start With You マーク・ウォリン著）によれば、こうした影響は感情的なものだけでなく、遺伝的なものである可能性もあるという。

自分の子ども時代に、明らかな原因なしに奇妙な感情や行動の症状を経験した場合、元のトラウマは自分のものではない可能性があります。戦争や奴隷制度、大量虐殺といった出来事による集団的トラウマは、何世代にもわたって心理的影響を及ぼすことが示されている。先祖がひどい飢餓に苦しんでいた場合、あなたは太りやすいかもしれない。また、個々の家族のトラウマ（予期せぬ死、虐待、社会的屈辱など）も、感情的な症状や不健康な対処戦略、あるいは微妙な遺伝的影響を通じて、将来の世代に影響を与える可能性がある。

家族の秘密

No family secret is fully a secret. We unconsciously communicate a lot about our emotions, even those we’re unaware of. Small children, who rely heavily on non-verbal communication, often pick up on suppressed emotions.

Many parents of young children have told me that, when they’re stressed or suppress anger, sadness, or fear, their children seem to sense and express those emotions for them. Children are less inhibited in showing what they feel, even if they don’t understand why they feel stressed.

親が浮気をしている場合、子どもは相手の親よりも先に、何かがおかしいと感じるかもしれない。家族が行方不明になったり、早死にしてしまったりした場合、その話を聞かされていなくても、子どもは家族の微妙で長期的なストレスを感じ取ることができる。これは前述した家族のトラウマの概念と関連している。

要するに、子どもは家族のトラウマや不均衡を、たとえ誰もそれについて話していなくても、吸収してしまうのである。彼らは生涯を通じて感情的な症状を示すことがあり、時には未解決の感情を引き出し、癒すために、無意識のうちに似たような状況を再現することさえある。ある女性は、会ったこともない虐待を受けた祖父に似たパートナーに惹かれるかもしれない。ある男性は、死産した姉の身代わりとなる女性に惹かれるかもしれない。また、投獄された先祖を持つ男性は、法の執行機関と衝突せざるを得ないと感じるかもしれない。これらはほんの一例に過ぎない。

結論

We’re all far more influenced by early childhood imprints than we realize. Our family’s emotional heritage can come from unexpected sources. When we struggle to understand our self-sabotaging behaviors, it can be tempting to blame a mysterious influence like black magic. But such patterns are more easily explained by deeply unconscious relationship bonds or ancestral emotional trauma.

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