伝統的な性別役割分担は機能するのか?

執筆者 | 4.8月. 2024 | 家族と子供たち, 社会

伝統的な男女の役割

 

By traditional gender roles, many people presume that the man works outside the home to earn money, while the woman takes on the roles of mother and housewife. (Throughout most of human history, this wasn’t actually the norm, as women also had to work to ensure the family’s survival in addition to managing household chores.) Such gender roles make the woman dependent on the man for many of her basic needs, while also adding extra pressure on the man to earn money. Such imbalance often leads to loss of respect and trust, and can easily result in power abuse, including physical abuse.

The woman may feel like a slave, working all day without a salary and perhaps enduring disrespect and abuse on top of that. She may feel infantilized, imprisoned in her home, cut off from opportunities to explore her potential. The man might resent the financial imbalance and may dismiss the value of the woman’s work.

伝統的な性別役割分担における権力と機会の不均衡は、たとえ双方に善意があったとしても、感情的な問題やコミュニケーション上の問題を引き起こす可能性がある。例えば、女性は他に影響力を行使する手段がないため、口うるさく言ったり、操ったり、被害者ぶることに頼るかもしれない。一方、男性は対等なパートナーがいないと感じ、無視、軽蔑、引きこもりで対応することがある。

伝統的な家父長制社会では、女性は専業主婦であり続けるという前提があるため、教育水準が低いのが普通だ。この教育不足は、女性に能力がないというレッテルを貼り、二流市民として扱う口実として使われる。教育を受けていない女性は、子どもたちにとっても刺激的なロールモデルになりにくい。

結婚前に人間関係や相性を探る機会がほとんどない伝統的な社会では、男女ともにパートナー選びが厳しく制限されることが多い。さらに、不幸な結婚生活から抜け出すことが難しい場合もある。

 

伝統的な性別役割分担が子どもの情緒的健康に及ぼす影響

Children born into such marriages often witness exploitation, power games, emotional coldness, disrespect, and various forms of abuse. They are likely to model parts of those behaviors. Witnessing traditional gender roles, little girls are often taught that they cannot fulfill their dreams unless a man is willing to do so for them. Little boys are taught to be competitive, aggressive, and power-hungry to be able to support multiple people with their earnings. They might also learn that it’s normal that they have more freedom and less responsibilities than girls.

Furthermore, children are likely to take for granted the parent who is with them all the time (mother), while idealizing the parent who is absent or distant most of the time (father). They might resent the mother’s constant struggles to discipline them, while admiring the father’s financial power and independence. Since adult people see the world through the lens of what they experienced in their childhood, they are likely to project their feelings for their mother and father onto women and men in general.

In traditional patriarchal families, it’s also very common that a lonely, unfulfilled mother will turn to a son as a substitute partner (感情的近親相姦). The son may feel privileged, but in the same time pays a high price by losing his own identity and boundaries. Such a mother can be very jealous of her daughter in law, and may try to keep her son’s love for herself. She might also, sadly, project her own self-disdain and self-hate onto her own daughters and even granddaughters.

 

伝統的な性別役割分担が機能するのはどのような場合か?

Can traditional gender roles ever work to the benefit of all? I have seen it work well a few times, but more often, I have observed the negative outcomes described above. For such a relationship to succeed, the man must genuinely respect the woman’s work and consider it equally valuable as his own. The woman must genuinely enjoy housework and childcare and have few if any other ambitions. The man should feel good with the responsibility of being the sole provider.  The woman must be okay with having no financial security of her own and relying on her partner for money. Both partners need to possess excellent communication skills and maintain these preferences over decades.

In modern society, the man also needs to have an above average income to be able to support both his wife and children on a single salary. Otherwise, women who are not satisfied with their husbands’ income may put pressure on them to earn more, which can become a source of continuous strife. Some men with low income can feel inadequate, or even unworthy of getting married if their salary is not high enough.

伝統的な性別役割分担に対する相互尊重と真の同意によって成功する家族もあるが、それはむしろ例外である。たいていの場合、こうした力学は憤りの温床となり、時代遅れのジェンダー規範と強制的な依存関係を永続させる。

IMOは、女性を家事と育児に限定しようとする人たちは、男性も肉体労働だけに限定するよう求めるべきだ。そうすれば、少なくとも欲求不満と未開発の可能性は平等になり、誰もが永遠の石器時代で幸せに暮らすことができる。

 

続きを読む

どっちが悪い?男性か女性か?

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コジェンカ・ムク

コジェンカ・ムク

I’m an Integrative Systemic Coaching trainer and special education teacher. I taught workshops and gave lectures in 10 countries, and helped hundreds of people in 20+ countries on 5 continents (on- and offline) find solutions for their emotional patterns. I wrote the book “Emotional Maturity In Everyday Life” and a related series of workbooks.

Some people ask me if I do bodywork such as massage too – sadly, the only type of massage I can do is rubbing salt into wounds.

Just kidding. I’m actually very gentle. Most of the time.

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