It can be surprising sometimes when obviously intelligent people make mess in their own or other people’s lives with their lack of emotional awareness, lack of empathy or by surrendering to unhealthy emotions. It feels natural to expect intelligent people to also be able to understand the complexity of human emotions and relationships, but this is not always true.
Well-used rational intelligence usually includes love for learning, questioning things and ideas, long-term and global thinking, and seeing different perspectives. Ideally, all of that also contributes to increased understanding of human psychology and relationships. In that sense, rational and emotional intelligence are somewhat correlated and can be developed simultaneously. But it doesn’t always happen.
共感と生い立ち
共感とは、他人がどう感じるかを容易に想像する能力であり、感情的知性の中核をなすものである。共感を通じて、自分の言動が他者にどのような影響を与えるか、自分と他者とのバランスをどうとるかを学ぶことができる。しかし、人間の共感能力には個人差がある。他の人間の能力と同じように、遺伝的な可能性と環境が組み合わさって、大きな違いが生まれるのだ。
Some people have less genetic potential for empathy, but sometimes ethical upbringing can make up for it; or some such people can also lack aggressive and dominant urges; or their intellectual development may enable them to rationally understand complex, long-term consequences of their behavior. Therefore even less empathetic people can be ethical in their actions. Ethics does not always mean they would be able to deal with their own emotions in healthy ways, or to anticipate what other people expect of them, but at least good intentions are there. Some of those people find an external set of moral rules – such as religion – and may stick to it in a rather rigid way. The worst situation is innate low potential for emotional intelligence combined with toxic environment.
有害で暴力的なロールモデルを持ったり、暴力や操られることを多く経験することで、自然な共感が防衛的な怒りや腹立たしさ、恨みに変わってしまうこともある。その経験から、共感は危険だと感じるかもしれない。共感は自分を傷つきやすくし、操りやすくし、罪悪感を感じやすくし、失望を経験しやすくする。現在よりも過去に反応するかもしれない。
自己認識
感情的知性を保証するには、共感力だけでは十分ではない。ある種の内的修飾要素がなければ、共感力は個人の境界線の欠如や、時には長期的な原因や結果を予見し理解することの欠如に簡単に転化してしまう。操作に抵抗する健全な自己イメージ、観察力、水面下を見通す力、経験、そしておそらく直観力など、それ以上の何かが必要なのだ。共感は他者に焦点を当てるが、感情的知性は自己認識にも基づいている。
For children to learn about their own emotions, they first have to accept and embrace them. This is not difficult in a supportive, balanced environment. However, if a family is unhealthy or abusive, children can experience more pain than they can handle. If those children have strong potential for rational intelligence, or if they experience that rational approach helps them diminish or avoid pain, they might learn to use rational thinking as a refuge from painful emotions. While this is certainly not the worst defense they might choose, avoiding emotions means less skill in understanding them; whether their own emotions or somebody else’s.
All is not lost in such a case; getting in touch with one’s emotions is a skill that can be learned. Just like many other skills, it’s easier to learn it in childhood than later in life. Still, it can be done and it can greatly improve your life.
“What does this mean for me?”
実際には、エモーショナル・インテリジェンス(あるいはその欠如)の表現に気づくよう、意識的に注意を払うとよいだろう。 単独 of expressions of logical intelligence. Be aware that emotional intelligence will be much more significant in your relationship with someone than high IQ. You probably don’t want your partner, friend or coworker to be stupid and irrational – but make sure that they are not emotionally stunted, either.
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