“I Don’t Know What Do I Want!”

Our desires and goals motivate us towards self-fulfillment and increase our enjoyment of life. But not just that – recognizing goals and working on them are important in coaching and psychotherapy. Since emotional conditioning and limitations are primarily reflected through 無意識の自虐願望や目標に取り組むことは、私たちを最も妨害している感情や信念に気づくための最短の方法であることが多い。特に 人生の目標に集中する 例えば、質の高い親密なパートナーシップ、自尊心、充実した仕事などである。 感情のブロックを認識する 私たちの人生に最も影響を与えるものである。その解決は、望む文脈だけでなく、人生の他の多くの分野においても多くの利益をもたらす。

Yet sometimes clients just don’t know what they want! Sometimes they might recognize this as a critical issue that requires coaching. 目標の欠如 doesn’t just cause routine, stagnant lives, it also indicates deep emotional blocks. It’s very unlikely that such people can be truly and deeply content with their lives, and they feel it too. Even if we were able to be completely satisfied with our lives and our emotional patterns, I believe that we can still grow and develop emotionally.

ゴールの欠如にはいくつかの種類がある：

1.顧客は実際に欲望を持っている。 don’t dare to acknowledge themあるいは、彼らは don’t believe them attainable.

2.クライアントは インナーコンフリクト いくつかの選択肢について。

3.真の無能 個人的な欲望や目標を感じたり、認識したりすること。

最初の2つのケースを認識するのは通常難しくない。最初のケースは 制限的信念  and emotions, perhaps including guilt or shame for having desires. (Under condition that the goals are healthy and don’t include or imply hurting other people.) Perhaps such a client was raised to take too much responsibility for other people and to put themselves last. Some people feel incapable or unworthy, and sometimes they believe that it is not possible to fulfill a certain desire. Sometimes this is true – we certainly cannot teach fleas to sing, for example. Still, even a seemingly unreachable goal can give us something to aspire to, something to dream of and motivate us (even if you only end up with fleas who start screaming at the sight of you).

二つ目のケースである内なる葛藤は、人々が望む選択肢のいずれかに向かうことを止めてしまう制限的な信念によって引き起こされることもある。しかし、もしその願いが 相容れない, it’s highly likely that this is caused by a deep identity conflict. In short, this is a conflict amongst false personalities created on the foundation of toxic beliefs. Such a pattern is often the 親同士の衝突の結果 when the client was a child – especially if the parents tried to make the child choose a side. Such a situation creates limiting beliefs and false, compensatory personality parts in the child, which make it seem impossible to achieve two different desires, even if, realistically, they are not mutually exclusive (love and freedom, for example). For more information, read the articles 複雑な対立 そして 意識の量子的飛躍

アイデンティティ喪失

The last possibility, true inability to express a goal, is not so common. Starting with a presumption that for a normal person it’s almost impossible not to have some wishes at least – wishes show us what is interesting and fulfilling to us, what takes us to the next step in our personal growth – I’d say that the most important cause of this issue is 真の人格の拒絶と抑圧それは有害な信念や習慣に取って代わられる。最初の2つの場合もそうだが、通常はそこまでではない。

おそらくそのような人たちは、経験したトラウマの数は少ないが、トラウマがほとんど完全になくなるほど重かったのだろう。 自棄になる; or a longer period of milder, but consistent neglect and suppressing of the children’s personality, usually accompanied by “brain washing” and 子供たちが人生の方向性を自分で決められないようにする. Such people can spend all of their lives robotically following their parents’ beliefs or unfulfilled desires, without ever really considering what they truly want.

The solution of this issue requires resolving limiting beliefs and rediscovering and reintegrating the suppressed parts of personality. But this is not all. You will need to spend some time gently, but consistently exploring – 自分再発見: your preferences, desires, interests towards particular topics or activities… very likely you will need to invest time in developing new habits and skills that you didn’t have a chance to learn before. But later is better than never.

Don’t expect yourself to know at once what will you want to do with the rest of your life. It’s enough to learn to 日々の内なる導きに従う, from smaller desires towards life goals. While learning to live in this way, you develop an awareness that one day, perhaps when you least expect it, might reveal a true purpose of your life. Perhaps, by following your smaller wishes, you will spend some time collecting knowledge and developing skills that will help you later in life to create your life work – the skills that perhaps you wouldn’t have patience to practice, if you knew in advance what your life mission would be.

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Complex Conflict Resolution – Transcript

意識の量子的飛躍

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