كيف يمكنك معرفة ما إذا كان شريكك قد تجاوز حقاً علاقته السابقة؟

بواسطة | 4.أغسطس. 2024 | الحب والألفة

العلاقة السابقةرصيد الصورة: نجار نيكخه

من قسم الأسئلة والأجوبة

سؤال: كيف يمكنك معرفة ما إذا كان شريكك قد تخطى علاقته السابقة حقًا أم أنه يخفي مشاعره حفاظًا على مشاعرك؟

الإجابة:

  • يُظهرون حماسًا حقيقيًا للتواجد معك (ليس فقط لفظيًا، ولكن أيضًا غير لفظي)
  • يتواصلون معك كثيرًا وبصراحة، وغالبًا ما يبادرون بالتواصل معك ومشاركة حياتهم معك
  • سلوكهم غير اللفظي يجعلك تشعر بالأمان (انظر النقطة الأولى)
  • they rarely mention their ex, and when they do, it’s with a neutral attitude (a negative attitude can also be acceptable if the ex was toxic, but it can also be a red flag if they talk negatively about most of their past relationships. See also: الإشارات الحمراء في العلاقات)
  • منفتحين عاطفياً ومتوفرين.

The most important thing is to listen to your healthy gut feeling (which is a different thing than fears and self-doubt that might be coming from your childhood – more about it in كيف تتخذ قرارات أفضل؟)

I recommend discussing your concerns about your partner’s past relationship with them directly. If they are healthy and honest, they will likely validate your feelings and share their own in a calm and transparent manner. Pay attention to their non-verbal communication to see if it is open and congruent or if it appears tense and guarded. Be mindful of whether they attempt to gaslight you or shift the focus by criticizing you. (Keep in mind that if this topic has already been a source of conflict, your partner might feel attacked or controlled by repeated questioning, which could lead to avoidant behavior. Excessive jealousy can sometimes create an environment where a partner feels it is not safe to speak openly.)

Another important factor to consider, especially if you are preoccupied with comparisons to your partner’s past relationships, is your own self-worth and confidence. People who feel secure and confident in their value are not troubled by such comparisons. This inner confidence also makes them more attractive.

Rather than dwelling on your partner’s past relationship, consider using this as an opportunity for personal growth and healing. When you start to feel insecure or doubtful, shift your focus to practicing self-love. Our تمرين إرشادي هنا يمكن أن يدعمك في هذه العملية. كلما بنيت احترامًا صحيًا لذاتك، ستجد أنك تثق بنفسك أكثر، مما يجعل قراراتك في العلاقات أسهل بكثير.

 

تابع القراءة:

هل من المقبول البقاء على اتصال مع حبيب سابق؟

When Hope is a “Negative” Emotion

الأعلام الخضراء: كيف يمكنني التعرف على العلاقة الصحية؟

 

جميع المقالات 

التدريب عبر الإنترنت 

المزيد من الأسئلة والأجوبة

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كوسجينكا موك

كوسجينكا موك

I’m an Integrative Systemic Coaching trainer and special education teacher. I taught workshops and gave lectures in 10 countries, and helped hundreds of people in 20+ countries on 5 continents (on- and offline) find solutions for their emotional patterns. I wrote the book “Emotional Maturity In Everyday Life” and a related series of workbooks.

Some people ask me if I do bodywork such as massage too – sadly, the only type of massage I can do is rubbing salt into wounds.

Just kidding. I’m actually very gentle. Most of the time.

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