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Как мне перестать чувствовать, что меня никто никогда не полюбит?

от | 4.Авг. 2024 | Эмоциональное благополучие, Самооценка

 

 чувство, что никто никогда не полюбит меня

 

Вопрос: I’m lonely and feel unattractive. I have difficulties connecting with people. How can I stop feeling that no one will ever love me?

Ответить: Did you feel loved as a child? Our expectations of the world are based on our experiences with our parents. People who felt loved as children, usually expect to be loved as adults, too, and don’t get discouraged even if there is a period of loneliness in their life. People who weren’t loved enough or in a healthy way by their parents, expect a similar treatment by the rest of the world.

What we expect deep inside, we communicate non-verbally and people respond to that. People treat us the way we treat ourselves, and we treat ourselves the way our parents did. Of course, it can also be difficult to interact with other people in a confident and interested way, if you couldn’t feel safe to do it with your parents.

If you think physical looks are the problem, I know a number of people who are physically unattractive and believed that they’d never find partners, but when they worked on loving themselves anyway, and got busy making their lives happy rather than waiting for something to happen, they eventually found great partners. People respond to our character and how we feel, not how we look. At least people worth being with.

Возможно, стоит честно проанализировать свое невербальное общение, то, как вы взаимодействуете с людьми и как вообще относитесь к ним, чтобы выяснить, есть ли в вас что-то, что может показаться другим обескураживающим. Помните, что людей больше всего привлекают те, кто проявляет к ним искренний интерес. Подробнее об этой теме в Как преодолеть социальное отторжение и неловкость.

We recommend our guided meditation “Heal Childhood Programming for Empowerment And Self-love” on эта ссылка. It’s designed to help you heal your past memories an adopt a healthier perception of yourself.

 

 

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Косьенка Мук

Косьенка Мук

I’m an Integrative Systemic Coaching trainer and special education teacher. I taught workshops and gave lectures in 10 countries, and helped hundreds of people in 20+ countries on 5 continents (on- and offline) find solutions for their emotional patterns. I wrote the book “Emotional Maturity In Everyday Life” and a related series of workbooks.

Some people ask me if I do bodywork such as massage too – sadly, the only type of massage I can do is rubbing salt into wounds.

Just kidding. I’m actually very gentle. Most of the time.

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