Plagiarism is theft © Martyn Carruthers 1996, 2008
Transformation is always available to responsible people who wish to
change their lives. A key step in ongoing transformation is a
stable experience of integration. This helps you live a meaningful life,
while resolving issues that prevented your living with integrity.
Are you mature and responsible? Systemic coaching can help you find and stabilize an ongoing experience of integrity. Integrity provides a strong basis for you to restructure your relationships, resolve traumatic memories, evaluate role models and choose appropriate mentors.
Summary of Systemic Solutions Process
1. Control Crisis & Stress
If you are in crisis or stress (e.g.: divorce; war; pain; unwanted pregnancy; unemployment; suicidal, etc) you may be unable to focus on other issues. Instead, you may fixate on your crisis, age regress (act childishly) and be unable to complete coaching homework or tasks. Systemic coaching would first help you to dissolve or control your crisis.
2. Resolve Guilt
If you have overwhelming guilt (from having hurt, abandoned or betrayed someone and/or violating an important relationship) you will likely sabotage your happiness until you resolve your guilt. Systemic coaching can help you resolve guilt and change your relationship habits to prepare for happiness.
3. Identify Individual & Relationship Goals
Many business people talk about SMART goals (from Blanchard’s book, The One Minute Manager). However, very few people can spontaneously state SMART goals – instead their goals are often philosophical abstractions, stated as negatives without time limits.
Systemic goalwork helps you cuts through all of these to find what you really want.
4. Dissolve Conscious & Unconscious Objections to Goals
If you can perceive your objections as “ways to make things better“, you can accept and resolve your conscious and unconscious objections to success and happiness. Dissolving transferences and defining goals are essential skills for all subsequent coaching. You can define a coaching plan for changing your relationship habits.
5. Dissolve Conflicts & Recover Integrity
Integrity can help you find complete solutions for neurotic and addictive behavior, such as compulsions, addictions, unhealthy relationships and emotional problems. This also alleviates many psychosomatic symptoms, and helps prevent and accelerate the healing of physical disease. Although most motivated adults can begin Systemic Coaching immediately, people with symptoms of psychosis, dementia or severe brain damage are unlikely to complete this work.
Changing relationships is better after you have dissolved your conflicts – otherwise you may create new relationships based on your old conflicts.
6. Dissolve Identity Loss & Recover Sense of Self
If you dissociated during abuse, stress or trauma, and you stay dissociated, we call this identity loss. You may have identified with someone else. You may have created sub-identities to represent your conflicting parents. We teach ways to resolve identity loss during systemic coach training.
7. Replace Relationship Bonds for Better Relationships
You can evaluate and change your feelings of connection (relationship bonds). You can change unwanted bonds (E.g. “I feel bonded to my last job – which seems to stop me building my business”). On completion, you can express your integrity within any relationship. You can gain choice in how and with whom to build what type of relationships.
A relationship bond to a past partner or parent may prevent a person finding a new partner. With Soulwork Systemic Coaching, you can evaluate your whether your bonds are influences, beliefs, values or a substitute for your sense of identity.
8. Dissolve Emotional Trauma & Regain Motivation
Traumatic experiences are often followed by strong emotions – even for decades. Your emotions can overwhelm you and sabotage your important goals. (E.g. “I am overcome with sadness when I remember that event.”). If the sources of your emotions include abusive and traumatic events, we can coach you accept lessons that you previously ignored. On completion, you may find that all emotions can be motivating. (E.g. “Sadness about my past reminds me to make the most of my future”).
We perceive that most unpleasant emotions are healthy responses to unhealthy experiences. After systemic coaching, a person can feel resourceful while pondering or learning from unpleasant memories; and find deep, lasting motivation to achieve important goals.
Evaluate Role Models
Role models are people from whom we have consciously or unconsciously learned behaviors and attitudes. After trauma resolution, a person can identify and evaluate role models, and choose whether to replace the role models and the imitated beliefs and behaviors. A person can choose which role models to emulate and which new behaviors to actualize. On completion, you can choose which influences you want, and you can resolve your unwanted behaviors in alignment with your goals for your life.
Are you in a committed intimate or business partnership? You can request couple coaching, during or after systemic coaching. As you take steps towards living with purpose and meaning, you probably wish to share your insights and skills with important people. Couple coaching coaches you and your partner simultaneously – to evaluate and fine-tune your relationship.Couple coaching is perfect for two people who work together, or want to explore working, together. You can solve problems before they manifest!
Team coaching skills include team-building, setting team goals, dissolving hidden agendas and team leader training.
Systemic coaching encourages you to explore your life choices, and the consequences of your choices, and to make decisions with integrity. We can coach you to remember who you really are.
Systemic coaching encourages you to to create appropriate relationships; to resolve emotional trauma and to plan and achieve your goals. Systemic coaching coaches integration – integrated people become their own teachers, managers, mentors and therapists. Systemic coaching nourishes your inmost core.
- Carruthers, M.(1995)“Thoughtforms”, NLP World, Volume 1, No.3 1994 (Switzerland)
- Carruthers, M.(1997)“Human Consciousness and Decision Making”, 1997 (University of Hull, UK, ISBN 0 85958 9560)
 Somatic and psychosomatic disease may be distinguished by whether the symptoms of chronic disease disappear following a non-medical change in lifestyle (a change in work, relationships etc). Most physicians estimate that patients with psychosomatic symptoms greatly outnumber those with somatic disease.
 Physical disease, trauma or surgery that has destroyed or removed non-renewable tissue is unlikely to be reversible. In these situations, systemic coaching may improve a person’s emotional reactions and emotions concerning the destroyed or removed tissue.