Beyond Coaching by Martyn Carruthers
Your relationship skills, your coaching and mentoring, can last longer than your words or success. You can be remembered for your integrity, trust, and honest communication throughout your relationships.
I wrote this little poem in Warsaw, Poland when I was still piecing together what I would later call Soulwork systemic coaching. Kumulipo is a Hawaiian word with multiple meanings. One translation is teacher of the night.
From the Source of All
From potential to dynamic
LIGHT creates duality
Between the first created
Between equals for opposites
LOVE creates trinity
Three in one and one in three
Direction guides unfolding love
INTENTION creates multiplicity
Nature – the one in many
Evolution explores potential
PURPOSE creates life
Between earthly childhood
And cosmic adolescence …
SOUL creates Mentors
“Kumulipo Fragment” © Martyn Carruthers, 2002
Any combination of words may be used to justify freedom or bondage. You can use the same words to build prison walls or bridges to lasting happiness. Today’s truth quickly becomes tomorrow’s foolishness and my words are forever subject to your interpretation. I will choose words carefully, with the hope that you will choose meanings that benefit you.
If you have been damaged by mentors, or by inappropriate or toxic mentorship, you are unlikely to benefit from future mentorship until you manage or heal your damage. We can help you.
You can choose to embody integrity. You can open your awareness; manage your blocks and fulfill your life. You can build a bridge across the void. You can remember who you are, and wake up. You can embody Soul and assist the paths of others. The paths are many, the goal is One.
You cannot give, nor take, integrity as a gift, nor force it as a command. Yet each person choosing integrity can find it, and can mentor others. Here are some qualities of Soul Mentorship, and tips on how we have helped people develop these qualities.
You, Your Cosmos and Integrity
You live in an infinite universe without center nor edge. You live in an infinite experience of life, before thoughts, without center nor edge. “Levels” or “depth” of life experience are useful illusions that may reflect your progress in mastering life challenges. An ultimate challenge is to live with integrity.
Most people experience moments of integrity. Maintaining or stabilizing integrity is challenging – unresolved issues will return most people in duality. Living with integrity may be life’s highest challenge. Mentoring motivated people to live with integrity, while continuing to develop ourselves, is one fulfillment of happiness.
You may fixate on your own path and insist that there is no other, or you may recognize that the paths to Soul are infinite. Integrity is forever available to those people who choose it.
As you experience integrity, you step into a source of wordless wisdom. Soul is beyond words, or better stated, before them. Soul can be described in abstract paradoxes: scared/sacred; as an ever-new primordial state; forever stable and forever changing; the purpose of life and the life of purpose.
Soulwork can help you live with integrity. When you live in integrity, neither accepting nor rejecting, you can ruthlessly love your actions – and your consequences. You can assess whether your actions express your love appropriately.
You can appreciate all actions as expressions of love, regardless of consequence. You can ruthlessly love the people around you – and the games that you and they may play. If you judge the actions of others, you may fall into duality.
If you stabilize Soul experience, you become a Soulworker. You can truly Soul Work. You can mentor people to live with integrity and coach people to heal their own lives … and help heal the lives of others.
As a Soulworker, you can transcend training and philosophy. You can find refuge in integrity. Beyond confused or selfish feelings, you can waken to experience a world – your world – your life, your world, your home.
When you merge with Soul, you can transcend sympathy and find compassion. You may see love in all people – and all actions. You can perceive that all human beings want to love and be loved and that they are desperately trying to realize their love. You may perceive that they can merge with Soul themselves, and in merging, you are never alone.
You can mentor those people who suffer in darkness. From an infinite number of paths, you can mentor those people who long to fulfill life on their own paths. You can bridge heaven and earth – integrating your highest ideals into the darkest parts of your human reality.
You can mentor with patience and gentleness, or with arrogance and dogma. You are free to choose, and each person is free to respond to you. As you mentor others, you may be interested in their health and welfare, or uncaring. A harvest of mentoring is that you learn how to become a better mentor.
A dark side of mentorship is mentor damage. Incompetent mentors may use their authority to treat compliant adults as children, or they may use people as a testing ground for their ideas. Some people need to influence others – perhaps trying to find meaning in otherwise meaningless lives.
Following mentor damage, people become less able to discern who is good for them – and who not – and may avoid any form of mentorship.
Mentoring involves mutual influence – each protégé teaches a mentor how to become a better mentor. Mentors need feedback to develop their mentorship.
Quality mentorship helps people transcend selfishness. People can learn humility and patience by making decisions, accepting feedback, sometimes suffering, and learning, as we did, about life. Wise mentors help people develop in their own time, and offer support and encouragement.
Soul of Soulwork
Soulwork is accessible, simple and profound. Beyond concepts and doubts, you can explore integrity and offer help to other seekers. Our world needs people with discipline and strength, people who live their “sense of life”.
We seek people who want to develop and mentor others. We seek people to walk beside us, whatever their religion or philosophy. We seek ways to express love – and a powerful way to express love is to accept love!
As you merge with Soul, you merge with those who have merged before. You can access their wisdom and find endless visions – including visions beyond humanity. You can complete your childhood and prepare for maturity. Graduate and take your place in the world. See Soul of Soulwork
Today’s enlightened descriptions may be tomorrow’s foolishness, and today’s crazy ideas may be tomorrow’s Rainbow Bridge. Yet, beyond philosophy and dogma, you can manifest your integrity by helping heal this troubled planet.
Our coaching develops skills while our mentoring develops wisdom.